FDA Punts Moderna's Flu Shot Application Into the Springfield Gorge

D'oh FDA says No to Moderna's Flu Shot

Well gather 'round folks because it seems like Moderna those folks trying to save us from the sniffles with their fancy flu shot hit a snag bigger than Bart's mischief. The FDA that bunch of government guys who decide what's good for us and what's gonna turn us into three eyed fish said 'Hold your horses!' They're refusing to even look at Moderna's application for their experimental flu shot. I tell ya it's enough to make you wanna drown your sorrows in a Duff Beer.

Study Design? More Like Study Dis aster

Turns out the FDA is saying the whole reason they're giving Moderna the cold shoulder is because of how they designed their clinical trial. They compared their flu shot to a regular approved one and apparently that ain't good enough. The FDA in a letter signed by Vinay Prasad (sounds important right?) said this comparison "does not reflect the best available standard of care." It's like saying my donut eating habits don't reflect the best available dietary standards. Which let's be honest they don't. But hey donuts make me happy. This whole situation reminds me of the time I tried to build a BBQ pit and compared it to Ned Flanders' perfect one. Let's just say it ended with me calling Moe for a beer and a cry. If you are interested in another saga with twists and turns have a look at Estée Lauder vs Walmart A Fight Against the Machines…of Counterfeit Beauty.

Moderna's Moo ving Mad

Moderna is spitting madder than a bull at a rodeo. They're saying the FDA is being a real Homer about this that it's not consistent with what they discussed before they started the trial. They even pointed fingers at the FDA's vaccine guy Vinay Prasad who they say is tightening regulations like my belt after a trip to Krusty Burger. Moderna's CEO Stéphane Bancel said this decision "does not further our shared goal of enhancing America's leadership in developing innovative medicines." I tell ya sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to enhance America's leadership in...uh...donut eating. Mmm donuts…

Stock Plummets Like Bart's Grades

And as if getting rejected by the FDA wasn't bad enough Moderna's stock took a nosedive faster than Bart on a skateboard. Down 7% after hours! That's a lot of dough even for me. You know I should've invested in donuts instead. Always a safe bet especially with me around. It's moments like these when you wonder if maybe just maybe you should listen to Lisa and read those fancy financial reports. Nah where's the fun in that?

Future Flu less? Not So Fast

So what does this all mean? Well Moderna's hoping to meet with the FDA to figure out what the heck is going on. They're pushing back their expected approval to late 2026 or 2027. Looks like we'll be stuck with those old flu shots for a while longer. Maybe that ain't so bad. At least I know what to expect: a little pinch maybe a slight fever and then back to Duff and donuts. But still it feels like something's rotten in the state of vaccines. And I don't mean Maggie's diaper.

Mmm Bureaucracy

This whole thing is messier than the time I tried to "help" Marge with the spring cleaning. Bureaucracy regulations study designs…it's enough to make a man's head spin. All I know is I just want a decent flu shot so I can keep working at the plant making sure Sector 7 G doesn't melt down and keep me from enjoying the simple things in life like watching TV eating donuts and complaining about Ned Flanders. D'oh