World on Edge US-Iran Conflict Explodes

It's Getting Hot in Here Folks

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your favorite attorney and now apparently geopolitical analyst. Things have gone sideways folks real sideways. Forget about 'Better Call Saul,' how about 'Better Call Someone Who Can Stop World War III'? The U.S. and Israel just lit a match near a very big pile of dynamite in Iran and things are getting a little too spicy even for my taste. The Ayatollah is gone and now everyone's pointing fingers and oil prices are doing the tango. Just when you thought you could relax and maybe invest in some Hummels BAM global crisis.

Iran Strikes Back It Wasn't Me

So the U.S. throws the first punch and Iran bless their hearts decides to punch back and hard. Missiles and drones flying every which way hitting everything from military bases to luxury hotels. I'm telling you even I wouldn't want to be caught in that crossfire and I've seen some things. The fallout is significant – and as Apple's Stock Plunge Siri Delays and News App Scrutiny this conflict is already sending ripples through the global economy threatening everything from your gas prices to your retirement fund. Maybe it's time to invest in a good fallout shelter just in case.

Money Talks and Oil Walks

Speaking of money the markets are having a full blown panic attack. Oil prices are doing the Macarena gold and silver are looking mighty shiny and everyone's running for cover like they just saw Walter White cooking meth in their RV. The Dow is dropping faster than my reputation after that whole… incident. Look I'm no economist but even I can see this isn't good for anyone's pocketbook.

Trump's Four Week Forecast Or is It

Now Trump's chiming in saying it's a 'four week process.' Four weeks? That's like an eternity in the world of international crises. It's also about the length of time it takes to launder money at my off shore accounts. He says Iran wants to talk. Then Iran says 'Nah we're good.' It's like a bad episode of 'The Twilight Zone,' only with higher stakes and way more explosions. This could go either way folks and neither way looks particularly good.

The Legal Eagle's Take No War Without Congress

And then comes the legal mumbo jumbo. Seems some folks are saying Trump didn't exactly get permission from Congress to go all Rambo on Iran. Shocking I know. There's this guy Brian Finucane some fancy pants advisor saying there's 'no plausible legal justification' for the attack. I'm telling you even I know you need to cover your legal bases before you start a war. Lesson one kids: always have an escape plan.

Global Finger Pointing Everyone's a Critic

Everyone and their mother is weighing in on this mess. China's blaming the U.S. and Israel Russia's all up in arms the Gulf states are puffing out their chests and Europe's trying to figure out how to sell weapons to everyone without looking too bad. It's a regular global soap opera except instead of catfights and paternity tests we've got missiles and potential global Armageddon. I need a drink.