SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket launches Crew-12, a multinational team bound for the International Space Station.
SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket launches Crew-12, a multinational team bound for the International Space Station.

Blast Off and Bug Hunts

Alright people listen up. Ripley here. Just saw another one of those oversized firecrackers courtesy of Musk and his SpaceX outfit blast off from Florida. Seems they launched Crew 12 a mixed bag of Americans a Frenchie and even a Russian all headed to that tin can we call the International Space Station. Eight months they'll be up there poking around running experiments. Makes me wonder if they've got a flamethrower handy. You never know what you might find floating around in the void. Remember space is vast and it is always hungry.

International Relations and Zero G Vomit

So this Crew 12 thing is supposed to be all about international cooperation and scientific advancement. Sure sounds great on paper. But let's be real sticking people from different countries in a tiny metal box for eight months? That's either gonna solve world peace or start World War III. And don't even get me started on the zero G toilet situation. I’ve seen things up there things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die. In other news it looks like CapitalWatch Backtracks AppLovin Stock Soars so maybe the world is indeed coming to an end.

Science Schmience. Where's the Real Gear

They're going to be doing a whole bunch of scientific research up there. Studying bacteria messing with plants the usual song and dance. All for the sake of future missions to the Moon and Mars. They call it the Artemis program a successor to project Apollo. Frankly sounds like they are still trying to figure out what they should have figured out fifty years ago. As long as they are not messing with alien DNA I don't care. But if I am being honest I think they are focusing on all the wrong stuff. I am more interested in seeing what sort of weapons they have got and where is the real gear at like a proper pulse rifle. You know for self defense against any unexpected...visitors.

Medical Evacuations and Other Nightmares

Now here is a fun fact. Apparently the previous crew had to cut their mission short because someone got sick. Real sick. Forced a medical evacuation. Makes you wonder what kind of nasty space germs they're dealing with up there. Reminds me of the Nostromo. One minute you are fine the next you have got a chest bursting surprise waiting to happen. In space no one can hear you scream but you can definitely hear you vomiting.

The Tin Can That Keeps On Ticking

This International Space Station that thing is older than my last pair of boots. Been up there for over a quarter of a century. They say it's a testament to human ingenuity and cooperation. I say it's a testament to duct tape and a whole lot of hope. But hey if it keeps them from messing around with things they shouldn't be I am all for it. I guess. Just keep the doors locked and the flamethrowers loaded.

Keeping an Eye on the Void

So there you have it. Another crew of space cadets blasting off into the great unknown. Let us just hope they know what they are doing and that they have got enough coffee and rations to last them eight months. And for crying out loud if you see anything weird anything at all don't go poking it with a stick. Call me. I'll bring the flamethrower. Because out there things aren't always what they seem. And sometimes all you can do is nuke it from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.


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