Panama Canal Tug-of-War US vs China Over Control

The Stewie Griffin Take on Global Affairs

Alright so picture this. I'm sitting at the Drunken Clam minding my own business probably trying to explain to Quagmire why dating a cartoon character is frowned upon when I hear about this whole Panama Canal kerfuffle. Apparently it's turning into a real life game of Risk between Uncle Sam and the fellas from Beijing. And let me tell you it's more complicated than trying to explain the plot of 'The Godfather Part III' to Brian.

Panama Canal Drama A Real Victory for Trump?

So here's the deal. The Panama Canal that little ditch we dug a while back is now the center of a massive power struggle. Panama's Supreme Court basically told a Hong Kong company to take a hike which according to some folks is a win for America. But hold on a minute. Is this really about free trade and democracy or is it just another episode of 'Keeping Up with the Geopolitics'? And how does this link with Eat My Dust Super Bowl Commercials Faceplant? I mean are we going to see Super Bowl commercials about the Panama Canal now? Probably not but you never know with the way things are going.

China's Response Its Like Meg Trying to Fit In

Of course China is not exactly thrilled. They're threatening economic and political consequences which sounds like something Meg would say when she doesn't get invited to a party. But the Chinese are dead serious and President Mulino is basically saying 'Bring it on!' It's like when Peter declares war on the chicken but on a global scale. Only less funny and with potentially more serious consequences.

CK Hutchison Throws a Tantrum Like Stewie Griffin

Now CK Hutchison the company that got the boot is throwing a legal fit. They're heading to international arbitration which is basically the adult version of Stewie screaming for world domination. They claim the court's decision is unfair but let's be honest who hasn't felt like they've been unfairly wronged? Remember when Lois made me eat all those vegetables? Outrageous.

The Bigger Picture A Global Version of Lois and Peter Fighting

Experts are saying this is just the beginning. We're talking drawn out legal battles economic pressure and maybe even a new Cold War but with better snacks. It's like watching Lois and Peter argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes but with the fate of the global economy hanging in the balance. Scary stuff if you ask me and believe me nobody ever does.

China's Maritime Chokehold A Plot by Ernie the Giant Chicken?

And get this China's apparently got a 'maritime chokehold' on the world. They control a ton of ports and build almost all the shipping containers. It's like Ernie the Giant Chicken controlling all the chicken coops. If they decide to squeeze we're all in trouble. We'd better start building our own ports and quick before the Chinese win