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Tesla's stock dips as delivery forecasts fall and Musk reignites a feud with Trump over spending bill implications. image

Tesla's Tumble: Is Elon Playing Chicken with the Joker... I Mean, Trump?

Wed 02 July, 2025 00:29
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns dissects Cramer's M-N-M stocks: Microsoft, Nvidia, and Meta's surprising resilience in a turbulent market. image

Excellent! Microsoft, Nvidia, and Meta Escape the First Half With All-Time Highs!

Tue 01 July, 2025 23:04
2 minutes to read

The House Judiciary Committee is cracking down on Brown, Penn, and Harvard, suspecting some seriously uncool price-fixing shenanigans with tuition and financial aid. Ay, caramba! image

Eat My Shorts, Ivy League! Congress Busts Out the Subpoenas!

Wed 02 July, 2025 00:17
2 minutes to read

Hedge funds are betting against the Swiss franc to finance purchases of the British pound in a classic carry trade, driven by diverging central bank policies. Yeah, baby, YEAH! image

Groovy, Baby! Swiss Franc Gets the Shagging Treatment as Hedge Funds Go Long on POUND Power!

Tue 01 July, 2025 23:02
2 minutes to read

Word on the street is Trump's playing peacemaker, tryna get Israel and Hamas to chill for 60 days. Will they take the deal, or will this beef keep sizzlin'? image

Yo, Check It! Trump Says Israel's Down for a Gaza Ceasefire...Is This Real Life?

Tue 01 July, 2025 23:01
3 minutes to read

Indiana Jones investigates a government panel stacked with vaccine skeptics, debating the safety of a mercury-containing ingredient in flu shots. image

Thimerosal Tempest: Snake Oil, Vaccines, and Government Sabotage!

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:56
3 minutes to read

Bugs Bunny reports on the proposed healthcare changes, finding potential for massive Medicaid cuts and coverage losses for millions. Could this be worse than Elmer Fudd with a shotgun? image

Eh, What's Up With Doc's 'Big Beautiful Bill'? Looks Like a Hare-Raising Healthcare Hassle!

Tue 01 July, 2025 22:09
4 minutes to read

Constellation Brands faces earnings slump due to tariffs, but remains optimistic about future fiscal performance, a puzzle worthy of deduction. image

Elementary, My Dear Brewer: Tariffs Brew Trouble for Constellation Brands!

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:53
3 minutes to read

Google leverages its prime online real estate, the Google Doodle, to shove its new AI-powered search tool, 'AI Mode,' down the throats of unsuspecting users, all while sweating bullets over those upstart AI firms. image

Google's Playing God With AI Mode: By Order of the Peaky Blinders

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:50
3 minutes to read

A satirical take on Senator Murkowski's vote on Trump's tax bill, blending political maneuvering with a tennis champion's perspective. image

Alaska's Ace: Murkowski's Game, Set, Match on Tax Bill!

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:32
2 minutes to read