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JPMorgan thinks emerging market stocks might actually be worth something now, after years of being about as useful as Bertram's attempts at world domination. Apparently, someone finally figured out China and the U.S. aren't going to trade blows forever. image

Victory is Mine! Emerging Markets Finally Stop Being Such a Brian

Mon 19 May, 2025 13:09
3 minutes to read

That hippie Robert Reich is saying Trump's tariffs are gonna make us all poor and ruin America's totally awesome free ride. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Taking My Dollar and Going Home! (Because Trump's Tariffs Are Messing Everything Up!)

Mon 19 May, 2025 12:33
2 minutes to read

UBS analysts suggest Best Buy's stock might keep climbing thanks to easing trade tensions. Just keep your pulse rifle handy, things could still get ugly. image

Best Buy Stock: Another Beautiful Day in the Corps... Or Is It?

Mon 19 May, 2025 14:01
2 minutes to read

Gandalf reports on Bath & Body Works' latest CEO shuffle, a quest for acceleration, and the ever-present shadow of tariffs. image

A New CEO Arrives: Can Bath & Body Works Resonate with Tweens and Men?

Mon 19 May, 2025 13:42
3 minutes to read

Delinquent student loan reporting is slugging borrowers' credit scores, leaving them seeing stars. But some are fighting back, proving it ain't about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward! image

Yo Adrian! Student Loan Debt's Got Borrowers Punch Drunk!

Mon 19 May, 2025 11:34
3 minutes to read

Fifth Third Bank is now offering its customers free wills through Trust & Will, aiming to make estate planning more accessible and prevent messy probate situations. Can you believe this corporate generosity? What's the catch? image

Fifth Third Bank Offers FREE WILLS?! Is This The End of Probate Court?

Mon 19 May, 2025 10:45
3 minutes to read

The UK government is stepping in to regulate the Buy Now, Pay Later (BNPL) sector, aiming to protect consumers from debt traps and bring order to what they've called a 'wild west'. Will it work? Let's find out! image

OMG! The UK is Taming the Buy Now, Pay Later Beast! Can Affordability Survive?

Mon 19 May, 2025 11:27
2 minutes to read

TD Cowen downgrades UnitedHealth amid regulatory scrutiny and leadership changes, leaving investors questioning the future of the healthcare giant. Resistance is futile, or is it? image

UnitedHealth Under Fire: Is This the End of the World (As We Know It)?

Mon 19 May, 2025 11:24
3 minutes to read

Naruto Uzumaki reports on the UK and EU's landmark deal to reset relations, full of twists, turns, and maybe even a few hidden Jutsu! image

Believe It! UK and EU FINALLY Team Up: A New Era of Rasengan-Powered Partnerships!

Mon 19 May, 2025 12:01
2 minutes to read

A look at Regeneron's acquisition of 23andMe, the concerns surrounding genetic data privacy, and whether I should be worried about them analyzing my batting DNA. image

Regeneron's DNA Dive: Is My Genome Next?

Mon 19 May, 2025 12:21
3 minutes to read