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Bitcoin smashes records amid favorable macro conditions, regulatory tailwinds, and good ol' fashioned Wall Street hype. Is this the Tendie Town Express? image

BITCOIN GOES BRRR! Hits All-Time High as US Debt Gets the Big Sad

Wed 21 May, 2025 16:25
2 minutes to read

Bitcoin smashes all-time highs amid macro-economic madness and ETF inflows – buckle up, Retard Brigade! image

Bitcoin MOONING! Is This the Real Tendie Town?

Wed 21 May, 2025 16:25
2 minutes to read

Jensen Huang claims U.S. chip export controls are hurting American businesses more than China, leading to a tech cold war where Nvidia is playing both sides. Can America catch up, or will China take the lead in the AI race? image

Nvidia CEO Says US Chip Export Controls Are a FAILURE?! (Is This the End of American Tech Dominance?)

Wed 21 May, 2025 16:24
3 minutes to read

MrBeast reacts to Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang's controversial statements about U.S. chip export controls and their impact on the global AI race. Did someone say FREE CHIPS?! image

Nvidia CEO Just Said WHAT?! America's Chip Strategy is a FAIL?!

Wed 21 May, 2025 16:24
3 minutes to read

A satirical look at today's pre-market headlines, from Palo Alto's margin woes to Wolfspeed's potential swan dive, all through the lens of your friendly neighborhood billionaire. image

Zuck's Morning Download: Earnings, Fails, and the Metaverse of Market Madness

Wed 21 May, 2025 12:25
3 minutes to read

Wall Street analysts react to Google's new AI subscription service, Google AI Ultra, and its potential impact on Alphabet's stock and the future of search. image

Alphabet's AI Gambit: Cleaning Your Room in the Age of Gemini

Wed 21 May, 2025 12:45
3 minutes to read

The stock market's recent surge, fueled by easing trade tensions and tariff pauses, has sent several stocks soaring, benefiting Jim Cramer's Charitable Trust portfolio. Kerrigan comments on the gains, throws some shade, and wonders why the Swarm isn't on the list. image

Wall Street's Wild Ride: From Tariffs to Triumph, Courtesy of Yours Truly (and Maybe Some Humans)

Wed 21 May, 2025 14:25
4 minutes to read

Agent J reports on how TJ Maxx is dodging tariff bullets, keeping those sweet deals alive, even when the economy's acting like a Men in Black reject. image

TJ Maxx Avoids Tariff Firestorm: More Bargains Than You Can Shake a Neuralyzer At!

Wed 21 May, 2025 13:54
2 minutes to read

Burger King aims to reignite family interest with 'How to Train Your Dragon' themed menu, hoping colorful buns and movie magic will boost lagging sales. image

Burger King's Dragon Gambit: A Whopper of a Marketing Ploy, or Just Playing with Fire?

Wed 21 May, 2025 13:50
3 minutes to read

Airline CEOs are squawking for Congress to cough up billions to fix the air traffic control system, which they say is older than Grampa Simpson and just as likely to cause a kerfuffle. image

Doh! Airlines Say Air Traffic Control is Failing Us! Need More Dough-nuts... I Mean, Dollars!

Wed 21 May, 2025 14:13
2 minutes to read