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Showing 21 to 30 of 89 news articles

That nincompoop, Biden, seems to have a touch of the 'prostate pucker.' Good heavens, is nothing sacred anymore? image

Bah! Prostate Problems Plague Bumble-Brained Biden!

Sun 18 May, 2025 20:20
2 minutes to read

A week of eased tensions and Middle East deals sends Tesla, Nvidia, and other tech stocks soaring, proving that money, as always, makes the world go 'round. Smithers, prepare the celebratory sherry! image

Excellent! Tech Stocks Surge as Global Tensions Thaw and Trump Does Deals (Release the Hounds!)

Fri 16 May, 2025 20:24
2 minutes to read

A look at Ford's Expedition reveals the complex reality of global automotive supply chains, where even American-made cars rely on foreign parts, much to the chagrin of industrialists like Mr. Burns. image

Excellent! Ford's Expedition: A Vehicle Less American Than Smithers' Loyalty?

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:23
3 minutes to read

A look at how the UK-US trade deal might benefit BMW, and by extension, Burns Motors (eventually, perhaps, if I feel charitable enough). image

Excellent! Burns Motors Set to Thrive as UK-US Trade Deal Shifts Gears!

Thu 15 May, 2025 23:18
2 minutes to read

A new report reveals that while housing supply is improving, affordability remains a distant dream for the lower and middle classes. Smithers, prepare my fainting couch! image

Excellent... Housing Market Only Slightly Inaccessible to the Hoi Polloi!

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns weighs in on Amazon's recent layoffs, finding the silver lining in corporate streamlining and the potential for cheaper robotaxis. image

Excellent! Smithers, Release the Hounds... Of Unemployment! Amazon Trims the Fat!

Wed 14 May, 2025 22:28
2 minutes to read

Warner Bros. Discovery, in a move that can only be described as 'excellent,' is restoring the HBO Max name after a brief, regrettable dalliance with 'Max,' signaling a return to quality over quantity... something the masses clearly can't appreciate. image

Excellent! HBO Max Reverts to HBO Max: A Victory for Quality, Not the Common Man!

Wed 14 May, 2025 15:33
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns expands his empire into the HVAC industry by acquiring FläktGroup, aiming to dominate the heating and cooling market while his rivals choke on his dust. image

Excellent! Burns Grabs German HVAC Firm for Peanuts! A Cooling Investment Indeed!

Wed 14 May, 2025 03:16
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reacts to Trump's executive order to link U.S. drug prices to those of other developed countries, finding humor and potential profit in the chaos. image

Excellent! Trump's Plan to Fleece Foreigners for Lower Drug Prices! Hee Hee Hee!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:54
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reports on the latest trade talks between the U.S. and China, offering his unique (and often misguided) insights on tariffs, fentanyl, and global markets. image

Excellent! Burns Thwarts Chinese Trade Shenanigans (For Now)

Mon 12 May, 2025 11:55
2 minutes to read