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Showing 41 to 50 of 93 news articles

The S&P 500 stumbled, gold surged, and investors are holding their breath tighter than a Grunt facing a Plasma Grenade. image

S&P 500's Winning Streak: Did Someone Say... Bear-Market Rally?

Mon 05 May, 2025 20:12
2 minutes to read

Footwear giant Skechers is acquired by 3G Capital, marking the end of its public journey amid trade war woes. Could this be the Arbiter of their future, or will they need a weapon? image

Skechers Gets Booted: Private Equity Firm 3G Capital Steps In for a $63 Per Share Deal

Mon 05 May, 2025 13:53
2 minutes to read

Singapore's PAP secures another term amidst economic uncertainty, leaving Master Chief wondering if they need a Spartan. image

Singapore Still Needs a Weapon? Ruling Party Wins, But Global Threats Loom

Sun 04 May, 2025 01:36
3 minutes to read

The Trump administration's proposed budget slashes NASA's funding, shifting focus to Mars with a $1 billion boost, while SpaceX stands ready to launch humanity into the Red Planet. image

Trump's Gamble: NASA's Budget Cuts Send Agency to Mars, Leave Moon Dust Behind!

Fri 02 May, 2025 19:39
2 minutes to read

U.S. Retailers grapple with tariff uncertainties as they try to stock shelves with Christmas merchandise, facing potential disruptions from China. image

Wake Me When Christmas Creep is Over: Tariffs Threaten Holiday Cheer!

Fri 02 May, 2025 09:34
3 minutes to read

Apple's earnings report shows a mixed bag: hardware shines, services falter slightly, and Tim Cook navigates tariff threats like I navigate a Wraith. image

Apple's Fiscal Q2: Did They Stick the Landing, or Did the Covenant Get There First?

Thu 01 May, 2025 22:08
3 minutes to read

Anthropic's Claude AI now automates business tasks across platforms, raising questions about who really needs a coffee break. image

Wake Me When Claude Finishes My Taxes: AI Takes Over the Office

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:03
2 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's weight loss and diabetes drugs are selling like hotcakes, but a cancer treatment deal has led to lowered profit expectations. Could tariffs be the cure, or will they just add to the plasma? image

Lilly Lowers the Boom: Weight Loss Drugs Soar, Profit Forecasts Take a Dive

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
3 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's Q1 earnings beat expectations thanks to blockbuster drugs, but a cancer treatment deal and Trump's tariffs threaten future profits. Time to buckle up, Spartans. image

Lilly's Profit Forecast Takes a Dive, But Weight-Loss Drugs Save the Day (Again!)

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
2 minutes to read

Energy stocks are tanking, hinting at a potential economic slowdown worse than a Covenant invasion. image

Energy Sector Plummets: Is the Economy Saying "Wake Me When You Need Me"?

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:09
2 minutes to read