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Elon Musk weighs in on Hims & Hers' Q1 earnings beat, guidance wobble, and the future of telehealth. Prepare for liftoff... eventually. image

Hims & Hers Q1 Results: To the Moon or Mars? (Spoiler: Still Building the Rocket)

Mon 05 May, 2025 21:47
3 minutes to read

Friedrich Merz takes the helm in Germany with promises of reform and investment, navigating a tricky political landscape. Can he avoid becoming just another cog in the machine? image

Germany's New Leadership: More Like 'Responsibility FOR Germany' Than 'Responsibility TO Germany'!

Mon 05 May, 2025 13:38
2 minutes to read

Chinese retailer Temu shifts its U.S. business model in response to Trump's new rules on low-value shipments, altering product availability and pricing strategies. image

Temu's De Minimis Days are Done: How Trump's Tariffs Transformed the Discount King

Fri 02 May, 2025 19:38
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan's ETFs offer a surprisingly sane strategy: making money while the world burns. Perfect for those who want returns without the Tesla stock rollercoaster. image

JEPI and JPST: The Ultimate 'Hold My Beer' ETFs for a Crazy Market!

Fri 02 May, 2025 11:45
3 minutes to read

Apple's second-quarter earnings exceeded overall expectations, but a slight miss in Services revenue caused a minor stock dip, while Tim Cook navigates tariffs and AI rollout delays with characteristic calm. image

Apple's Q2 Earnings: Slightly Less 'Insanely Great' Than Expected (But Still Pretty Good!)

Thu 01 May, 2025 22:08
3 minutes to read

Analyzing Amazon's Q1 earnings report, potential tariff impacts, and the AI race from a very stable genius perspective. image

Amazon's Q1 Earnings: To the Moon or Just Lost in Space? (A Muskian Take)

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:01
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan upgrades Camping World, predicting a massive surge despite a recent dip. Time to buy some RVs… or maybe just the stock. image

JPMorgan Says Camping World Stock Is Going to the Moon (Almost)!

Thu 01 May, 2025 11:31
2 minutes to read

Energy sector dips in April, but don't worry, it's probably just the prelude to the Tesla-powered future... or maybe Mars. Either way, it's all good! image

Energy Stocks Tanking? Nah, Just Preparing for My Mars Colonization Fuel Demand!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Nvidia's CEO Jensen Huang highlights China's rapid AI advancement and the need for a competitive US AI policy, amid trade tensions and export restrictions. image

Jensen's China Revelation: Huawei is Formidable and US AI Policy Needs a Reboot!

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:48
2 minutes to read

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang says China is catching up fast in AI, praises Huawei's tech prowess, and urges the U.S. to focus on competitiveness over restrictions. Sounds like someone's thinking about Mars colonization, but for AI chips. image

Jensen's China Take: AI Race is On, and Huawei Ain't No Joke!

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:48
2 minutes to read