Chuck Norris - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 41 to 50 of 92 news articles

President Trump declares the US doesn't need to sign trade deals, they sign with the US, leaving markets puzzled and investors nervous. But don't worry, Chuck Norris has a plan. image

Trump Trade Deals? America Doesn't Negotiate, It Roundhouse Kicks Economies!

Tue 06 May, 2025 18:11
2 minutes to read

Friedrich Merz's bid for German Chancellor stumbles faster than a politician trying to outrun a Chuck Norris fact, leaving markets reeling and Germany in a temporary political limbo. image

Friedrich Merz Meets the Roundhouse Kick of Reality: Chuck Norris Weighs In!

Tue 06 May, 2025 09:08
3 minutes to read

A messaging app used by a former national security advisor faces a security breach, leading to temporary suspension and raising questions about data privacy. Chuck Norris weighs in with his signature blend of action and wit. image

TeleMessage Hacked: Even Chuck Norris Can't Roundhouse Kick Cyber Threats Away!

Mon 05 May, 2025 19:56
2 minutes to read

Chuck Norris reviews the latest Wall Street calls, separating the winners from the ones that couldn't survive a single punch. image

Wall Street's Bold Moves: Chuck Norris Approved Stock Upgrades and Downgrades That Will Make You Roundhouse Kick Your Portfolio into Shape!

Mon 05 May, 2025 12:18
2 minutes to read

Erika Roberts, once a pre-med student in the US, discovers her path to becoming a dermatologist leads through Germany, trading high tuition for bratwurst and self-discovery. Because sometimes, the only way to win is to redefine the game. image

Erika Roberts Chooses Deutschland: A Roundhouse Kick to the American Dream!

Sat 03 May, 2025 16:15
2 minutes to read

Jeff Bezos plans to sell a chunk of his Amazon shares, but don't worry, I'm not selling my beard... yet. image

Bezos Sells Amazon Shares: Is He Preparing for a World Without Roundhouse Kicks?

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:54
3 minutes to read

JD Vance says Ukraine conflict may drag on, but Chuck Norris knows the real solution: a roundhouse kick to the problem! image

Chuck Norris: Ukraine War Won't End Soon? I Could End It Before Breakfast!

Fri 02 May, 2025 09:24
3 minutes to read

President Trump threatens sanctions on countries dealing with Iran, sending oil prices soaring and Chuck Norris into a whirlwind of geopolitical analysis. image

Trump's Oil Showdown: Sanctions So Tough, They Make a Roundhouse Kick Look Like a Gentle Breeze

Thu 01 May, 2025 19:21
2 minutes to read

Microsoft, Nintendo, and Sony are raising prices on consoles and games, proving that even gaming can't escape the roundhouse kick of inflation. But fear not, Chuck Norris is here to break it down! image

Chuck Norris Approved: Xbox Prices Rise - Are You Ready to Level Up Your Wallet?

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:18
3 minutes to read

Reports suggest Tesla is seeking a successor to Elon Musk after sales and profits plummet, proving even electric cars can't outrun Chuck Norris. image

Tesla's Board Searches for New CEO: Did They Finally Feel My Roundhouse Kick?

Thu 01 May, 2025 06:55
3 minutes to read