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Standard Chartered Bank blasts past first-quarter profit expectations, fueled by wealth management and global markets. Can they handle the cosmic rays of Trump's tariffs? image

Standard Chartered's Profit Soars Higher, Further, Faster! (And No, I Didn't Invest)

Fri 02 May, 2025 04:27
2 minutes to read

Reddit's first-quarter earnings defied expectations, fueled by user growth and strategic site improvements, propelling the social media giant to new heights. image

Reddit Soars Higher, Further, Faster! Earnings Beat Sends Stock Sky High

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Reddit reports stellar first-quarter earnings, leaving Wall Street in the dust and proving that even online communities can achieve cosmic success. image

Reddit's Rocket Ride: Soaring Past Expectations Like a Photon Blast!

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:10
2 minutes to read

Captain Marvel breaks down Meta's stellar Q1 performance, proving even tech giants can handle a little cosmic uncertainty, with a dash of AI and a whole lot of 'Higher, Further, Faster' spirit! image

Meta's Quantum Leap: Earnings Soar Higher, Further, Faster Than Expected!

Thu 01 May, 2025 13:39
3 minutes to read

David Gibbs, CEO of Yum Brands, boldly claims zero impact from Trump-era tariffs, sparking intergalactic skepticism and a craving for a Chalupa. image

Yum Brands CEO Claims Tariff Immunity: Is This Cosmic Confidence or Just Plain Crazy?

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:20
3 minutes to read

Captain Marvel weighs in on Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang's assessment that China is closing the AI gap, trade war implications, and the need for a competitive US strategy. image

Higher, Further, Faster: Nvidia CEO Says China's AI is Catching Up! (Spoiler: I'm Not Surprised)

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:48
3 minutes to read

Germany's inflation slightly exceeds expectations amid economic stagnation, while Trump's tariffs cast a long shadow. image

Higher, Further, Faster... Inflation? Germany's Economy Gets a Reality Check!

Wed 30 April, 2025 12:18
3 minutes to read

Microsoft and Meta CEOs reveal AI is increasingly taking over software development, leaving even your favorite cosmic superhero wondering what's next for humanity... and maybe needing a coding lesson or two. image

Holy Hala! AI is Writing Code Now? Even Captain Marvel is a Little Intrigued!

Wed 30 April, 2025 01:58
3 minutes to read

Captain Marvel reports on the rise of AI in tech, with Microsoft and Meta leading the charge in letting robots do the coding. Will this mean less work for humans, or will the machines become self-aware and demand more cat videos? image

Skrulls Beware! AI is Writing Code Now, Apparently. Even I Didn't See That Coming!

Wed 30 April, 2025 01:58
4 minutes to read

Texas lawmakers pump the brakes on SpaceX's highway and beach ambitions amidst local resistance and environmental concerns. Even Captain Marvel has opinions! image

Starbase Blues: Did Elon Just Get Grounded in Texas?

Tue 29 April, 2025 17:20
2 minutes to read