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Showing 81 to 90 of 133 news articles

The Trump administration is reportedly ditching the 'AI diffusion' rule, sending Nvidia's stock skyward and chipmakers breathing a sigh of relief...or is it? image

Trump Nukes Chip Rule: Nvidia Stock Soars Higher Than a Neuralyzer Flash!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:09
2 minutes to read

Friedrich Merz takes the helm in Germany after a bumpy start, facing economic woes and coalition tensions. Agent J investigates if Earth's biggest economy is ready for the challenge. image

Friedrich's Rocky Ride: Is Germany's New Leader About to Get Neuralyzed?

Wed 07 May, 2025 11:55
3 minutes to read

Top U.S. officials are jetting off to Switzerland for trade talks with China, signaling a potential thaw in the ongoing economic freeze. Is this the beginning of the end, or just another wrinkle in the Neuralyzer? image

Trump's Trade Team Heads to Switzerland: Are We There Yet?

Tue 06 May, 2025 22:25
3 minutes to read

Despite Trump's tariffs aimed at bringing manufacturing back to the US, Mattel isn't budging, diversifying its production while trying to keep toy prices from skyrocketing. Looks like somebody's gonna need a neuralyzer! image

Trump's Toy Tariff Tantrum: Mattel Says 'Not in My Backyard!'

Tue 06 May, 2025 13:22
2 minutes to read

Jon Voight pitches Trump a plan for movie tariffs, sending Hollywood into a tizzy. Agent J investigates the cosmic implications. image

Trump's Hollywood Tariff Tango: Is It Real or Just a Neuralyzer Malfunction?

Mon 05 May, 2025 22:19
3 minutes to read

Warren Buffett steps down as CEO, passing the torch to Greg Abel, leaving investors wondering if this is the end of an era or just another plot twist in the Berkshire Hathaway saga. image

Warren Buffett's Outta Here! Berkshire Hathaway Gets a New Pilot (But Don't Panic, Earthlings)

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:56
4 minutes to read

Retailers are using the trade war as a marketing ploy to boost sales amidst fears of decreased consumer spending, urging customers to buy before tariffs cause price hikes and shortages. It's like the end of the world sale, but with more handbags. image

Retail Apocalypse Now? Brands Use Trump's Trade Wars to Trigger Shopping Frenzy!

Sun 04 May, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

Agent J investigates flight cancellations at Newark Airport, pointing fingers at FAA staffing issues and United Airlines' woes, all while keeping an eye out for extraterrestrial interference. image

Newark Flights Grounded! Is This an Alien Plot or Just Bad Air Traffic Control?

Fri 02 May, 2025 22:19
3 minutes to read

Agent J reports on Block's stock plunge, Cash App's struggles, and whether a memory wipe is in order for Dorsey. image

Block's Cash App Meltdown: Is Jack Dorsey About to Get Neuralyzed?

Fri 02 May, 2025 14:25
3 minutes to read

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang sees his salary skyrocket after a decade, proving that even earthlings can benefit from advanced alien tech... I mean, AI. image

Jensen's Jackpot: Nvidia CEO Gets a Raise That's Outta This World!

Thu 01 May, 2025 22:49
3 minutes to read