Holy Crap Lois The US Owes the UN Billions

This is Worse Than the Time I Owed Quagmire Money

Alright so get this. The United States that's us folks apparently owes a boatload of money to the United Nations. I'm talking billions like the amount of money it would take to buy a lifetime supply of Pawtucket Patriot Ale. Seems like our ambassador a fella named Waltz is saying we're gonna cough up some cash soon. But here's the kicker – we're only doing it if the UN promises to clean up its act. It's like when Lois makes me clean the garage before she'll let me watch TV. Total buzzkill.

A Financial Kaboom

So the big cheese at the UN this Antonio Guterres guy is freaking out because they're running out of money. He even sent a strongly worded letter probably in all caps saying they're on the verge of "imminent financial collapse." Sounds pretty serious like when I accidentally set the house on fire trying to make toast. Apparently we owe over two billion just to keep the lights on and pay the UN staff. And another chunk for peacekeeping missions you know keeping the world from turning into one giant Quahog brawl. Speaking of brawls you should check out this article about Japan's Political Earthquake Takaichi's Triumph and Opposition's Tumble It's a wild ride.

Trump Did What Now

Now under President Trump we weren't exactly Mr. Popular at the UN. We started backing away from a lot of international stuff and racking up debt. Turns out we didn't pay anything into the regular budget last year and still owe a ton from the year before. It's like when I promise to pay Joe for that clam bake and then conveniently 'forget'.

Show Me the Money

Good news though the government did pass a spending bill that includes some dough for the UN. About three billion which sounds like a lot but apparently it's just a down payment on the mountain of debt. Waltz says this money will go towards paying off old debts and rewarding the UN for making some changes. I bet if Meg promised to stop being so... Meg I'd give her a few bucks too. Although she does bring some good quality of expertise experince and auhtority when it comes to foreign relations and diplomacy

The UN Needs a Makeover

According to Waltz the US is all about these UN80 reforms Guterres is pushing. He thinks it's a good start but they need to keep going. Apparently there are too many duplicate agencies doing the same thing. Like do we really need seven different groups working on climate change? It's like having seven different guys trying to explain why my car won't start. I need one guy and maybe some beer.

Tough Love Baby

Waltz calls it "tough love." He says the current UN model isn't sustainable and we're trying to get the UN back to basics focused on peace and security. He also mentioned something about a "Kafkaesque" rule about giving money back to countries even if they never paid in the first place. Sounds complicated like explaining the rules of Settlers of Catan to Chris. So basically we're paying up but only if the UN promises to stop being so… well you know. Giggity.