Cuba's Crude Crisis Escalates Amidst US Sanctions and Russian Aid

Good News Everyone Sanctions Intensify

Oh fiddlesticks. As if the world wasn't already a confusing enough place the U.S. Treasury in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof) has decided that Cuba won't be getting any of that sweet sweet Russian crude. Apparently OFAC (Office of Foreign Assets Control sounds like a rejected robot name doesn't it?) added Cuba to a list of countries that are now officially blacklisted from enjoying the fruits of Russian petroleum. I always say good news everyone sanctions intensify. This just makes the universe a little more… *interesting*. And by interesting I mean likely to explode.

A Tanker Named Desire and Deceptive Practices

It seems these tankers are playing a game of cat and mouse or perhaps tanker and… shark? This Sea Horse vessel flying a Hong Kong flag is allegedly carrying 190,000 barrels of gasoil. Apparently it's been switching off its location transponders. Tsk tsk. Reminds me of the time Zoidberg tried to hide from his landlord – turned invisible he did! And speaking of trouble there's another tanker the Anatoly Kolodkin also heading to Cuba. This whole situation is getting more complicated than a Professor Wernstrom's latest theorem. Speaking of complications if you wish to learn more about political and economic turmoil then take a look at Midterm Mayhem Incumbents Face Unexpected Challenges.

The Venezuela Connection Disconnects

Ah Venezuela the land of… well oil at least it used to be. Cuba's been relying on them for their oil fix but that's gone kaput since the U.S. decided to play international chess with Maduro's government. Now where are they going to get their precious fuel from? Perhaps they should try harvesting dark matter. I've always said dark matter is the key to everything. That's why I invested heavily in it.

Trump's Cuban Ambitions and Unyielding Resistance

President Trump bless his heart thinks he'll have the "honor" of “taking Havana”. Oh my. That's about as likely as Zapp Brannigan winning a Nobel Peace Prize. Cuba's President Díaz Canel is promising "unyielding resistance." It's a standoff folks. A real Mexican... er Cuban Standoff. It reminds me of the time I tried to teach Bender to resist the urge to steal. Disaster utter disaster.

Russia to the Rescue Maybe

Comrade Putin is not happy not one bit. He's promised Cuba “necessary support including financial aid.” Russia always keen to poke a stick in Uncle Sam's eye is stepping in to help. Whether this is genuine altruism or just political maneuvering who knows? Maybe they're just trying to sell them some dodgy vodka. It is a conundrum I tell you what.

It's All Gone Pear Shaped

So to recap Cuba's in a tight spot the U.S. is tightening the screws and Russia is playing the hero. Honestly it's all gone pear shaped. Someone fetch me a Slurm. I have a feeling this is going to get even messier than my lab after one of my… *experiments*. To the lab!