Kyndryl Plunges While Trump Boosts Media Stocks - What in the World is Going On

Kyndryl's Kerfuffle: More Like a Ker Plunk

Alright so Kyndryl that IT company nobody really understands but is apparently important had a real rough day. Their stock took a nosedive faster than Peter Griffin at the Quahog cliff diving competition. Apparently there's some shall we say "interesting" stuff going on with their cash management and both their CFO and General Counsel bailed faster than Lois when she sees me with a credit card. It's not a good look folks. Makes you wonder if they're hiding something or if they just realized they could make more money selling those "Kick Ass" t shirts.

Trump's Twitter Saves the Day (For Some)

You know I always thought Trump was just yelling at clouds but turns out his tweets can actually move markets. Who knew? Nexstar and Tegna got a HUGE boost because the Donald decided he was suddenly cool with their merger. It's like that time I accidentally endorsed a brand of mayonnaise and sales went through the roof. Makes you think doesn't it? Maybe I should start tweeting about stocks...or maybe just stick to complaining about Lois. If you are looking to invest based on the analysis of experts you should check out Wall Street's Top Analysts Reveal Their Stock Picks.

Software Shakeups: CEO Musical Chairs

The software world's been playing musical chairs with their CEOs. Workday's CEO got replaced faster than Brian can drink a martini. Apparently they're worried about AI stealing their thunder which let's be honest is a valid concern. I mean who needs a project management platform when you can just have a robot tell you what to do? It's all downhill from here. Next thing you know they'll be replacing ME with an AI Peter Griffin! Oh the horror.

Chips are Down... Except for Those That Aren't

The semiconductor industry is more confusing than Brian's dating life. Samsung's making new chips which sent some stocks tumbling but others like Broadcom and AMD actually went up. It's like trying to understand Meg's social life – a complete mystery. All I know is I need chips for my TV remote so I hope someone's making them!

Novo Nordisk Flexes Its Legal Muscles

Novo Nordisk those folks behind the weight loss drugs everyone's talking about got all lawyer y with Hims & Hers forcing them to pull their copycat pill. Good for them you know protecting their stuff is important. I wish someone would protect MY intellectual property – like that time I invented the "Petercopter." It's a valuable invention people!

Odds and Ends: Robinhood Gets Some Love

And finally Robinhood got a thumbs up from some analysts which is good news for those of us who like to gamble on the stock market from our phones while watching TV. Just remember kids don't invest more than you're willing to lose. Unless you're betting against Meg – then go all in.