D'oh Fed Drama Judge Sides with Powell, Trump Still Mad

Mmm Subpoenas Is That A Crime

Well folks it seems the Federal Reserve is in a bit of a pickle or maybe a donut. I'm no financial whiz but even I can smell trouble brewing like a bad batch of Duff Beer. The Fed's lawyers are fighting tooth and nail to keep some subpoenas from getting to Jerome Powell. Apparently some folks are poking around about pricey renovations at the Fed's headquarters. Sounds like someone might have ordered the gold plated toilet seats I always dreamed of for my house… but I digress.

Trump vs. Powell: A Battle of the Titans (and Renovations)

Now you can't have a good scandal without The Donald himself getting involved. Trump's calling Powell a "moron at the Fed" and ranting about cost overruns. He's even complaining about getting sued for his own building projects while Powell might be skating free. As I always say "Trying is the first step towards failure" but maybe Trump is onto something. And if you think that Trump is not being fair well let me tell you about Shishishi China's Tech is as Remarkable as a Giant Meat on the Bone – it’s as remarkable as a giant meat on the bone. Mmm meat.

The Judge Has Spoken: 'D'oh Not So Fast'

The judge in this case Judge Boasberg seems to think the investigation is a bit fishy. He's saying the subpoenas look like a way to harass Powell into doing what Trump wants. Now I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I know when someone's trying to pull a fast one. It's like when Bart tries to sell me snake oil… or when Mr. Burns tries to pay me with Monopoly money.

A Billion Dollar Overrun Itchy Scratchy and Costly

Here's the kicker. The prosecutor admits they don't have any proof of fraud but they're nosing around because of a $1.2 billion cost overrun. That's a lot of dough even for a guy who once accidentally bought a whole shipment of gummy Krusty Burgers. The prosecutor says that’s the GDP of some smaller countries. That’s like saying I could buy a whole lot of donuts maybe even enough to fill my car.

Inspector General Says "Eat My Shorts" to Fraud Allegations

But wait there's more. The Fed's Inspector General who's supposed to be watching for this sort of thing hasn't found any problems. So either they're not doing their job or this whole thing is a big ol' nothing burger. I know I'd rather have a burger than a subpoena any day.

Trump's Dream Renovation: 25 Million and "See Through"

Trump claims he could have done the whole renovation for $25 million and made it "see through". I'm not sure what that means but it sounds like something out of a bad science fiction movie. He's also complaining that the historic preservation folks are picking on him but not Powell. It's always something with that guy. Now I’m off to find a donut… or maybe investigate my own kitchen renovations. After all "You don't win friends with salad."