Iran's Gulf Strikes Create Huge Trust Gap Says Cartman

Screw You Guys I'm Defending Myself

Okay so apparently Iran is all like "We're just defending ourselves against those stupid Americans and Israelis." They're saying they're not hostile to the UAE Bahrain or whoever else is hanging out in the sandbox. But seriously if you ask me they started it. Remember what I said to Kyle once? "Respect my authoritah" Well Iran is just trying to assert its authoritah on all of its stupid neighbors. It's like when Butters tries to stand up to me; it never works out for him does it?

Legitimate Targets? More Like Lame Excuses

So Iran claims they're only hitting "military bases and assets" and that it's all totally legal under some UN thingy. Article 51? Who cares? But get this they're also blowing up oil facilities and airports. I mean come on that's just messing with everyone's Xbox Live time. They think they're so smart trying to shake up the global economy. But seriously remember when I tried to start my own amusement park Cartmanland? It totally backfired just like this. They should've thought this through better like that time I tried to sell hair to bald people it just didn't work. And speaking of things that don't work click here to read about TotalEnergies CEO Channels Inner Ace Ventura Too Expensive and Polluting for Venezuela.

Trust Gap? More Like a Giant Canyon

These Gulf states are totally pissed. Some UAE dude who's too chicken to even give his name says this has created a "huge trust gap" that will last for decades. Decades you guys! That's like a billion episodes of Terrance and Phillip. Qatar is whining and the Gulf Co operation Council is calling Iran "treacherous". It's all out war but without the cool explosions. I mean the trust is gone just like my respect for Wendy Testaburger.

Empty Apologies and Rocket Launches

So the Iranian president Masoud Pezeshkian is all like "Sorry we didn't mean to invade anyone." And then BAM they fire rockets at a U.S. airbase. It's like when I apologize to Kyle after being a total d*ck and then immediately start plotting against him again. Classic. And of course the Iranian hardliners are screaming at their own president. It's a total mess just like my bedroom after Mom yells at me.

Blame America! It's Always America's Fault

The Iranian spokesperson is still whining about how the U.S. is using these other countries to attack Iran. It's always someone else's fault isn't it? Just like when I blame Kenny for everything. And this Michael Herzog guy says the Gulf states are super upset because Iran is targeting their stuff not just American bases. It's like "Hey Iran stop wrecking our toys!"

Iran Isolated? Good Riddance

Herzog thinks Iran's plan backfired and now everyone in the Gulf hates them. Well duh. It's like when I tried to trick everyone into thinking I was a ghost; it only made them hate me more. Iran wanted to show everyone it was a regional war but they just ended up looking like a bunch of Butters. Seriously Iran you're grounded. Now go to your room and think about what you've done.