Trump Halts Strikes on Iran Power Plants Cites "Very Strong Talks"

Excellent Smithers Another Geopolitical Pickle

Bah international affairs. I C. Montgomery Burns have seen empires rise and fall and this... this Iran situation is just another blip on the radar of my long and glorious existence. Trump eh? Seems the old blighter thinks he's brokering deals. Reminds me of the time I tried to sell Shelbyville a monorail. Utter chaos but profitable chaos nonetheless. As long as the price of oil doesn't affect my Springfield Nuclear Power Plant I couldn't care less if they're trading nukes for dates the important thing is to keep the revenue streams flowing.

Hormuz Schmormuz I Say

This Strait of Hormuz business... it's always something isn't it? First it's unions then pesky environmental regulations and now this chokepoint threatens my bottom line. Honestly you'd think they'd learn. Messing with the energy market is like poking a hibernating bear or in this case a very very old very very rich industrialist who has ways of... persuading people. I always say 'Are we quite sure we have explored every avenue of destruction?' before making any decision on dealing with geopolitics. Now about that global warming... perhaps we can spin it to increase demand for air conditioning?

Nuclear Ambitions are a Ticking Time Bomb

This whole 'Iran will never have a nuclear weapon' promise... it's as believable as Homer Simpson turning down a donut. But if it is true then that means global peace and means my nuclear power plant becomes less valuable by the second. A world without potential conflict is a world without inflated profits for defense contractors and defense contractors and war profiteers are good for my business. Trump's trying to reassure Israel. Well good for them. I need to make sure my investments are safe. Perhaps I should diversify into... renewable energy? Heavens to Murgatroyd no. That's just madness. What is global markets will do during the coming geopolitical tensions? You can find out more in this article: Global Markets Wobble Amidst Geopolitical Tensions and Trade Wars

Regime Change Sounds Expensive

Jointly controlled Strait of Hormuz eh? Sounds like a timeshare. And 'regime change'? Smithers remind me to look into that. Perhaps we can acquire a small nation and install ourselves as benevolent dictators. Think of the tax benefits and the unlimited power and cheap labor. I like the sound of that very much. Plus as a nuclear power plant owner I do like the concept of 'very serious' anything. Serious power serious money serious consequences. I must keep an eye on those 'very good and productive conversations' and see if there are any lucrative opportunities for yours truly.

Smithers Prepare the Learjet

So stock futures are rallying the dollar is falling and oil prices are tumbling. Sounds like a buying opportunity for a shrewd investor like myself. Smithers prepare the Learjet. We're going to Wall Street. We need to capitalize on this manufactured chaos. It's all about timing Smithers timing. Buy low sell high and exploit every crisis for personal gain. It's the American way... or rather the Burns way.

In Summary It's All About the Bottom Line

In conclusion this whole Iran situation is just another game of global chess. As long as the gears of capitalism keep turning and my power plant keeps humming I'm content. Though perhaps I should send a strongly worded letter to Trump reminding him of the importance of a stable yet slightly volatile energy market. And maybe a fruit basket to the Ayatollah just to keep things... cordial. Smithers make a note.