Sam Altman Defends AI Resource Use: A Burnsian Perspective

Excellent AI Dubious Defenses

Bah AI. Another flash in the pan designed to line the pockets of these Silicon Valley whippersnappers. I Montgomery Burns have seen countless 'revolutionary' technologies come and go. Remember the Spruce Moose? Exactly. Now this Altman fellow dares to compare AI's energy consumption to that of *humans*? Preposterous. Humans especially the productive ones slaving away at the power plant are far more valuable than some glorified calculator. And let's not even get started on the water these data centers guzzle. It's enough to make one yearn for the days of whale oil and steam engines.

Water Woes and Nuclear Solutions

This talk of water consumption being a 'fake' concern is ludicrous. Everything drains into my lake so water issues are always on my mind. Springfield's precious H2O must be reserved for more important things like cooling my mansion and watering my collection of exotic orchids. But Altman does have a point about energy consumption being a valid concern. The solution of course is clear: more nuclear power. Clean efficient and keeps the rabble employed. We should look at Classic Car Market Poised for Explosive Growth in 2026 to help get the economy moving to pay for more energy for the new AI.

Humans vs. Machines: A Question of Value

The audacity to equate a machine to a human being. It reminds me of that blasted Shelbyville Shelbyville Manhattan project. My faithful Smithers may be an sycophant but at least he knows how to polish my monocle and file my tax returns. Can these soulless algorithms do that? I think not. And as for this Sridhar Vembu fellow I couldn't agree more. We need to be prioritizing humans or else my workforce will consist of machines. Machines dont accept pennies for compensation.

Data Centers: A Threat to My Monopoly?

These data centers are popping up like dandelions in my meticulously manicured lawn. They strain the electricity grid threaten my energy monopoly and probably contribute to climate change. Of course I'm all for progress as long as it benefits me and doesn't require me to relinquish a single iota of power or wealth. I own the best power plant in Springfield and I will not let these new fangled centers take me down.

Net Zero Nonsense and Local Pushback

Net zero goals? Bah. Another environmentalist scheme to cripple the economy and line their own pockets. San Marcos Texas rejecting a data center project? Good for them. The peasants are finally rising up and refusing to be taken advantage of. I suggest building a large wall surrounding San Marcos!

A Burnsian Solution

Ultimately the solution is simple: harness the power of the sun wind and uranium to fuel these AI monstrosities but under *my* control of course. And if they prove to be more trouble than they're worth I'll simply pull the plug. After all who needs artificial intelligence when you have a brilliant mind like mine?