Equinox's $40,000 Gym: Is it Worth More Than My Mini?

The Golden Carrot: A $40,000 Gym Membership

Right so I heard about this gym Equinox charging forty thousand of your finest dollars per year. That’s more than I paid for my Mini. And there's a waiting list longer than the queue for a free Teddy bear. Forty thousand for exercise? Blimey. I could buy a lifetime supply of baked beans for that. But apparently it’s not just about treadmills. It's the whole shebang – personal trainers nutritionists sleep coaches. A health concierge no less. Sounds like they practically tuck you in at night.

Health is the New Luxury? Good Heavens

Mr. Harvey Spevak the big cheese at Equinox says that "health is the new luxury". I suppose he’s right. You know I once tried to make my own luxury by painting my Mini gold. Didn’t quite have the same effect. Anyway seems the wealthy are after living longer and feeling fabulous and are willing to pay a king's ransom for it. Perhaps I should start charging people to watch me paint. Speaking of new trends and wealth you should check out Reddit's Triumph A Witcher's Perspective on Stocks and Scrolls to keep up to date with new and exciting money making opportunities.

Equinox Empire: From Treadmills to Hotels

Equinox isn’t just pumping iron it's building an empire. Hotels IV drips blood tests. They’re even opening a hotel in Saudi Arabia. Fancy. I remember when my big expansion was adding a new bolt to my Mini. They've got plans for more clubs too all over the place. Nashville Toronto even South Florida. All this when my idea of expansion involves squeezing more things into my flat. I must be doing something wrong.

Biomarkers and Wearables: Sounds Like a Sci Fi Film

Now this is where it gets a bit too technical for my liking. They’re testing for 100 biomarkers twice a year. Biomarkers? Sounds like something from a sci fi film. They use these tests to tailor a fitness program just for you. And they have something called EQX ARC for women. It uses diagnostics and wearables. Wearables? I've got a watch does that count? Still sounds like they're throwing all sorts of science at staying young. It's quite impressive even if I don't understand half of it.

Seven Figure Drips and Record Years: Money Money Money

Apparently their IV drip lounge is a “seven figure business”. Seven figures just for drips. That's enough to buy a fleet of Minis. And 2025 was a “record year” for them. They’re swimming in dough. I remember when I had a record year – that was when I managed to successfully make a sandwich without dropping any fillings. It's all relative I suppose.

Consumer Companies Want a Slice of the Bean Cake

Other companies are lining up to partner with Equinox. Everyone wants a piece of the health and wellness pie or in my case the bean cake. Mr. Spevak says they are the brand with the authority. I wonder if they need someone to test out their facilities? I'm quite good at unintentionally breaking things and creating chaos. It could be a niche market for them.