D'oh Dieting Medicare to Cover Obesity Meds, According to Some Smart Guy

Mmm Medicine: Uncle Sam's Gonna Pay for Diet Pills

So this fancy CEO guy Mike Doustdar from Novo Nordisk says that Medicare is gonna start paying for obesity meds. That's like the government helping people lose weight. Which is great I guess if you're not me. I mean I tried dieting once. Almost gave up beer. Almost. He thinks they can get about 15 million new folks hooked on their stuff. Fifteen million? That's a lot of sprinkles.

Not So Fast Tubby: Don't Expect Miracles

But here's the thing. This Doustdar dude is all like "Don't get too excited." He says it's gonna be slow. Like trying to get Bart to do his homework slow. Seems like even if Medicare pays people might not jump right on the bandwagon. I'm already envisioning those long lines but maybe a Financial Stability Becomes the Hottest Trend in Town could help people pay for the weight loss maybe its worth thinking about the bigger picture. Financial experts are saying it could become the hottest trend in town. Who knows?

Lilly's Got a Bigger Slice of the Donut

Now there's this other company called Eli Lilly. They're like the Flanders to Novo's Simpson. Always doing better. Turns out Lilly has a bigger piece of the obesity drug pie. Or donut in my case. Doustdar's company Novo needs to catch up. It's like me trying to catch up to a free donut. It ain't easy but I gotta try. They need to close that market share gap D'oh.

The Pill is Mightier Than the Needle? Maybe...

So how are they gonna do it? Well they got this new pill Wegovy. Doustdar says it's better than Lilly's upcoming pill. It's like saying Duff Beer is better than…water. Apparently their pill makes people lose more weight like 40% more according to their numbers. I'd lose 40% of my weight if I just stopped eating donuts. But where's the fun in that?

Upping the Dose: More Medicine More Weight Loss

But wait there's more. They're also coming out with a stronger version of their Wegovy shot. It's supposed to be just as good as Lilly's Zepbound which is apparently the cool new thing everyone's using. It's like everyone suddenly wants a salad instead of a Krusty Burger. Weird. This new stronger shot will hopefully convince people that Novo is just as good.

Mmm Similar Efficacy

Doustdar is hoping that when people see these two drugs are basically the same they'll go back to Novo. Or maybe they'll just stick with Lilly. Who knows? All I know is I'm hungry. And this whole weight loss thing is making me nervous. I need a donut. And maybe a beer. And definitely not any of that fancy medicine.