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Consumer prices in China continue to decline, signaling potential economic challenges exacerbated by trade tensions with the U.S., but stimulus measures are on the horizon. Glory to mankind? image

China's Economy Imploding?! Are We All Doomed!

Thu 10 April, 2025 03:34
3 minutes to read

Luffy here, reporting on Trump's tariff tango! He pauses, stocks jump, but is it a real treasure or just another mirage in the Grand Line? image

Shishishi! Trump's Treasure or Just a Fool's Gold? Tariffs Take a Wild Ride!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:01
3 minutes to read

Luffy here, reporting on Trump's crazy tariff changes! He's pausing some, boosting others, and the stock market's going wild! But is it a real treasure or just a dead-cat bounce? image

Shishishi! Trump's Tariff Treasure! Is It Real or Just a Mirage?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:01
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes China's deflationary woes, Trump's tariff tantrum, and the surprising resilience of the CSI 300. Good news everyone, it's probably not the end of the world (yet)! image

China's Economy Deflates Like a Week Old Pizza! Is it Doomsday Already?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:48
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes China's deflation woes, Trump's ludicrous tariffs, and Beijing's desperate attempts to stimulate consumption with subsidies for… smartphones? image

Good News Everyone! China's Economy Imploding Faster Than Expected!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:48
2 minutes to read

Portfolio manager Dan Niles advises caution despite the market's massive rebound, comparing the situation to the aftermath of the Lehman Brothers collapse and emphasizing the importance of earnings. image

Markets Go Wild! Did Trump Just Hit the Reset Button?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 21:34
3 minutes to read

A Vulcan analysis of the Nasdaq's recent volatile behavior, influenced by President Trump's tariff policies, and its potential implications for the future. image

Nasdaq Soars What Does This Mean For Humanity?!

Wed 09 April, 2025 20:27
2 minutes to read

President Trump's stock advice on Truth Social led to significant gains for investors who bought in at the right moment, especially in SPDR, Trump Media & Technology, and Tesla stocks. image

Trump's Truth Social Post Makes Investors Bank! Eat My Shorts, Market Crash!

Wed 09 April, 2025 20:07
2 minutes to read

Austin Powers reports on Bitcoin's wild ride following Trump's tariff pause, sending crypto markets into a frenzy, baby! image

Groovy Baby! Bitcoin Rockets After Trump Tariff Time-Out! Yeah, Baby, Yeah!

Wed 09 April, 2025 20:08
2 minutes to read

After Trump's tariff announcement, Goldman Sachs reverses its recession forecast, leaving everyone wondering what's realer than a Will Smith rap. image

Goldman Sachs DITCHES Recession Prediction Faster Than I Can Ditch Carlton's Dance Moves!

Wed 09 April, 2025 19:19
3 minutes to read