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Jinx here, reporting on why your precious retirement accounts are doing the cha-cha, but maybe it's not time to panic... yet! image

Retirement Funds Dropping Faster Than My Sanity! (Or Maybe Not?)

Wed 04 June, 2025 12:54
3 minutes to read

Synopsys withdraws financial outlook after US Commerce Department imposes restrictions on sales to China, sending stock tumbling and sparking speculation about tech war escalations. The Swarm watches with interest. image

Synopsys Crippled: Uncle Sam Grounds Chip Sales in China, Kerrigan Roars with Laughter!

Thu 29 May, 2025 20:01
2 minutes to read

Starbase, Texas, faces potential zoning changes under SpaceX's influence, threatening residents' property rights and sparking concerns over a company town gone wild. image

SpaceX's Starbase: Houston, We Have a Zoning Problem! Residents May Lose Property Rights

Thu 29 May, 2025 20:00
3 minutes to read

Dell Technologies sees stock surge after raising full-year earnings forecast, driven by booming AI system demand, despite slightly missing EPS estimates. 007 investigates the digital gold rush. image

Dell's AI Gambit: A Quantum of Solace for Investors?

Thu 29 May, 2025 20:12
2 minutes to read

The market's a joke, but the punchline might just be on Wall Street as the 'Magnificent Seven' stocks get cheaper while the rest get pricey. Time to cause some chaos! image

Why So Serious? The Magnificent Seven's Price Drop and My Plans for Gotham's Stock Market

Thu 29 May, 2025 16:20
2 minutes to read

Jeep unveils a new Cherokee with a hybrid option, aiming to revive sales after six years of decline. But will it be enough to outsmart the competition and dodge another financial Joker? image

Jeep's Hybrid Hope: Can the Cherokee Save the Day or Will Sales Plummet Further?

Thu 29 May, 2025 16:21
2 minutes to read

Amazon unveils a new hardware team, 'ZeroOne,' led by a former Microsoft Xbox mastermind, aiming to create groundbreaking consumer products amidst layoffs and a checkered hardware history. image

Amazon's New 'ZeroOne' Team: Another Disturbance in the Force or a Path to the Dark Side of Innovation?

Thu 29 May, 2025 17:01
2 minutes to read

Barbie weighs in on Meta's surprising partnership with defense-tech startup Anduril, questioning if this collab is totally fab or a fashion faux pas for the future of tech. image

Meta and Anduril Team Up: Is This Dreamhouse Defense or Just a Dream?

Thu 29 May, 2025 17:34
3 minutes to read

The Witcher himself reports on the rise of non-alcoholic beer, its impact on the world, and why even monsters might consider switching. image

Damn it! Non-Alcoholic Beer is Taking Over: Geralt's Guide to the End of Booze

Thu 29 May, 2025 17:55
2 minutes to read

A look at the legal battles surrounding Trump's tariffs and the administration's confident stance despite recent court setbacks. Will they win the appeal? Only time will tell, but they're definitely not backing down... like, ever. image

Trump's Trade Tango: Will Tariffs Get a Second Chance? (Shake It Off, Judges!)

Thu 29 May, 2025 15:12
3 minutes to read