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OMG! ElevenLabs, the AI voice startup, is planning a major glow-up with global expansion and an IPO in the next five years. Period. image

Like, ElevenLabs is Going Public? That's Like, So Fetch!

Thu 03 July, 2025 05:16
2 minutes to read

Michael Jordan weighs in on the U.S. government's decision to lift export restrictions on chip design software to China, sparking market reactions and trade talk. image

China Got Game: MJ Reacts to U.S. Chip Software Export U-Turn!

Thu 03 July, 2025 04:15
2 minutes to read

Fred Flinstone reports on Datadog's Stone Age rise to the S&P 500, replacing Juniper Networks, and what it means for Bedrock and beyond! image

Yabba Dabba Doo! Datadog Joins the Big Leagues!

Wed 02 July, 2025 22:41
2 minutes to read

OpenAI publicly denies involvement with Robinhood's tokenized stock offerings of OpenAI and SpaceX in Europe, warning users to be careful. image

OpenAI DISSES Robinhood's Crypto Shenanigans: 'We Didn't Ask For This!'

Wed 02 July, 2025 21:18
3 minutes to read

Musk's Social Media Platform Suffers Brief Meltdown, Leaving Users in the Dark and Wondering if the Overmind Approved. image

X Marks the Spot… of Another Outage: Did Elon Forget to Pay the Zerg?

Wed 02 July, 2025 19:17
2 minutes to read

Robinhood's stock surges past $100 after a crypto expansion in Europe, leaving Agent J to wonder if we're all living in a simulation. image

Robinhood Hits $100: Is This Real Life, or Just a Neuralyzer Malfunction?

Wed 02 July, 2025 20:18
3 minutes to read

Amazon pulls the plug on its Freevee streaming service, folding its content into Prime Video for a 'simpler' viewing experience. Seems like they're shaken, not stirred, by the competition. image

Amazon's Freevee Gets the GoldenEye Treatment: Discontinued!

Wed 02 July, 2025 20:25
2 minutes to read

Ethereum-related stocks are surging as stablecoins and tokenization drive renewed interest, proving once again that I was right about everything! image

Ether Soars! We're Making Crypto Great Again, Folks!

Wed 02 July, 2025 18:00
2 minutes to read

Puss in Boots reports on the rise of AI-powered YouTubers and the potential 'AI slop' threatening the content landscape, wondering if even a legendary gato like himself can compete. image

Holy Frijoles! AI YouTubers are Stealing My Spotlight!

Wed 02 July, 2025 15:22
3 minutes to read

That Robinhood stock is flyin' high, thanks to some fancy crypto footwork in Europe. They're makin' moves that'd make even Dragon say, 'Ooh, shiny!' image

Robinhood Soars Higher Than My Donkey Kicks! (And That's Sayin' Somethin')

Wed 02 July, 2025 15:46
3 minutes to read