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The scandalous preacher famed for weeping apologies and less-than-holy escapades has kicked the bucket at 90, leaving behind a legacy of gospel, controversy, and enough hypocrisy to fill the Superdome. image

Holy Hellfire! Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart Takes the Last Elevator Upstairs

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:31
3 minutes to read

Analysts predict a rough quarter for Tesla, citing Musk's controversies, rising competition, and a potential lifeline in autonomous driving. image

Tesla's Freefall: Shaken, Not Stirred by Musk's Antics and Robotaxi Dreams

Tue 01 July, 2025 14:37
3 minutes to read

Homer Simpson reports on the wild world of Wall Street where diabetes gadgets, toy companies, and even Outback Steakhouse have investors doing the cha-cha slide! image

Doh! Stocks Go Up, Stocks Go Down, Donuts Go... Where?

Tue 01 July, 2025 16:08
2 minutes to read

Gordon Ramsay dissects Ford's latest sales figures, questioning their electrified strategy while throwing in a dash of his signature culinary criticism. image

Ford's Electrified Dreams: Is the Blue Oval Cooking or Crying?

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:47
2 minutes to read

Citadel's hedge funds, led by tactical trading, are rollin' in the dough despite market volatility, proving that even with Trump's trade wars, money keeps flowin'. image

Fo Shizzle My Nizzle, Citadel's Makin' Bank! Ken Griffin's Funds Stayin' High in '25!

Tue 01 July, 2025 16:13
2 minutes to read

Rambo reports on the best performing stocks of summer 2025, with insights on sectors, standout companies, and Hilton's potential breakout. image

Stock Market's 'Nam: Top Stocks Emerge Victorious!

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:54
2 minutes to read

Despite global turmoil, AQR's hedge funds soar, proving even gods must sometimes bow to the wisdom of quantitative finance. image

By Hera! AQR Capital Manages to Outpace S&P 500, Even Amidst Ares' Trade Wars!

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:09
3 minutes to read

The Senate narrowly approves Trump's domestic policy package, but its fate in the House remains uncertain, leaving Dr. Evil to ponder its potential for world domination. image

Senate Passes Trump's Mega-Bill: A Shocker or Just Another Evil Scheme?

Tue 01 July, 2025 16:16
3 minutes to read

Bobby Axelrod dissects the day's market movers, from Trump's subsidy squabble with Musk to Goldman's conviction picks, with his signature wit and ruthless insight. image

Axe's Take: Trump's Tesla Tantrum, Amazon's Rocket Race, and Salad Chain Struggles

Tue 01 July, 2025 13:11
3 minutes to read

Saul Goodman breaks down the latest financial innovation: ETFs that aim to make money whether the market goes up or down. Is it genius, or just another way to fleece the flock? image

Better Call Saul: New ETFs Let You Profit From Market Mayhem! (Maybe...)

Tue 01 July, 2025 14:07
4 minutes to read