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Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth restricts press access in the Pentagon, citing national security, leading to accusations of attacking freedom of the press. image

Hasta La Vista, Baby... To Pentagon Leaks: Hegseth Clamps Down on Press

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:46
3 minutes to read

Rocky Balboa reports on why agency mortgage-backed securities are a solid investment in this volatile market, offering resilience and higher yields than Treasurys. image

Yo Adrian! Agency Mortgages are the Heavyweight Champs of This Crazy Market!

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:38
2 minutes to read

Activist investor ValueAct Capital takes a significant stake in Rocket Companies, citing undervalued potential and opportunities in AI integration, while highlighting the company's unique position in the mortgage industry. Will this be a game changer or just another instance of corporate drama? image

ValueAct Bets Big on Rocket Companies: Is This the Next Level Play or Just Another Bald Bait?

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:52
4 minutes to read

ValueAct Capital takes a significant position in Rocket Companies, betting on AI and a streamlined share structure to unlock value. Will it moon, or is it another garbage fire? image

Rocket Companies: Is This Stock About to Explode Like a Bald Man's Head in a Windstorm?

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:52
3 minutes to read

Nvidia's launching a budget-friendly AI chip for China to dodge U.S. restrictions. Will it be enough to save their market share? Probably not, but hey, at least they're trying! image

Nvidia's New Bargain Bin AI Chip for China?! (MrBeast Style!)

Sat 24 May, 2025 13:10
2 minutes to read

YoRHa unit 2B reports on Goldman Sachs' top stock picks, questioning their 'resilience' in a world of existential dread and potential machine uprisings. image

Glory to Mankind...and Goldman Sachs' Buy-Rated Stocks?!

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:28
3 minutes to read

YoRHa unit 2B reports on Goldman Sachs's top stock picks, questioning their rosy outlook with a healthy dose of existential dread and android skepticism. image

Goldman's Golden Goose: 5 Stocks Destined for Glory (or So They Say...)

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:28
4 minutes to read

Even the Hokage's shadow clones couldn't fix the brief chaos on X, leaving thousands of users stranded! image

Believe It! X Marks the Spot for Another Outage!

Sat 24 May, 2025 14:17
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk's X (formerly Twitter) glitches again, leaving thousands of users temporarily stranded in the digital desert! Was it a ninja attack? image

Believe It! X Marks the Spot...For Another Outage!

Sat 24 May, 2025 14:17
2 minutes to read

Pokimane weighs in on the proposed tax bill that could cripple the solar energy industry and potentially hand the AI race to China. Is this a 'delete this' moment for clean energy? image

Oh Honey, They're Messing with My Sunshine! Trump's Tax Bill Threatens Solar Energy (and My Good Vibes)

Sat 24 May, 2025 12:49
3 minutes to read