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Showing 41 to 50 of 85 news articles

Leela reports on Vance's bleak outlook for the Ukraine war, a minerals deal, and Trump's broken promises. image

Good News, Everyone! Vance Says Ukraine War Not Ending Soon (D'oh!)

Fri 02 May, 2025 09:24
2 minutes to read

Waltz out, Rubio in as interim, and Hegseth's in hot water for military plans leak on Signal, leaving the White House in a state of 'good news, everyone!' image

Trump's National Security Advisor Waltz Walks Plank After Signal Snafu!

Thu 01 May, 2025 19:14
3 minutes to read

Microsoft jacks up Xbox prices faster than Zoidberg scarfs down a dumpster full of hot dogs, leaving gamers feeling like they've been Nibblonied! image

Good News Everyone! Xbox Prices Soar Higher Than Bender's Bar Tab!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:18
3 minutes to read

Tesla's board is finally looking for a new CEO, as falling profits and Musk's antics send the stock plummeting faster than Fry falling down a tube. image

Good News Everyone! Tesla Ditches Musk Like a Bad Case of Space Rabies!

Thu 01 May, 2025 06:55
3 minutes to read

Microsoft's latest earnings report shows Azure cloud business booming, proving that even in the 21st century, humans still rely on technology to avoid thinking for themselves. And they said I was the one-eyed weirdo! image

Microsoft's Cloud Soars Higher Than Zoidberg's Dreams: Profits Up, Earth Still Exists!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:24
3 minutes to read

Leela reports on the U.S. economy's surprising contraction, blaming Trump's tariffs and questioning everyone's sanity. image

Good News Everyone! Earth Economy Does a Bender, Dips Lower Than Fry's IQ!

Wed 30 April, 2025 14:05
3 minutes to read

Experts predict the British pound will soar against the dollar, potentially hitting pre-Brexit levels thanks to trade policies and economic growth. Prepare for a financial 'Wimmy wam wam wozzle!' image

Good News, Everyone! British Pound Set to Make a Comeback Like Fry From the 20th Century!

Wed 30 April, 2025 05:20
2 minutes to read

As Baby Boomers inch closer to 80, analysts predict a boom in senior housing, highlighting American Healthcare REIT as a prime investment opportunity. Time to cash in before those geezers do! image

Holy Geriatric Guacamole! Stock Alert for the Chronologically Gifted!

Tue 29 April, 2025 19:09
3 minutes to read

After years of just being a way to mooch off your friends, Venmo is apparently becoming a real business. Who knew? image

Shut Up and Take My Money! Venmo Finally Makes Some Actual Money

Tue 29 April, 2025 11:09
2 minutes to read

General Motors navigates tricky tariff terrain as investors eye 2025 guidance more than quarterly results. Will they manage to keep their profits up or is this a case of 'good news everyone' turning into 'bad news everyone'? image

Great News Everyone? GM's Earnings Forecasts Face Trump's Tariff Tantrum!

Tue 29 April, 2025 04:01
3 minutes to read