Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth - NewsRetold Latest News

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Showing 11 to 20 of 26 news articles

Professor Farnsworth analyzes how Trump's tariffs might turn Apple into... apple sauce! Will they survive, or will they end up like Planet Express's stock price? image

Good News Everyone! Apple's Doomed by Tariffs!?

Fri 11 April, 2025 06:17
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the volatile tech market, Apple's rollercoaster ride, and the potential impact of tariffs. Oh, and some doomsday predictions, naturally. image

Good News Everyone! Is This the End of Apple?

Thu 10 April, 2025 15:42
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes China's deflationary woes, Trump's tariff tantrum, and the surprising resilience of the CSI 300. Good news everyone, it's probably not the end of the world (yet)! image

China's Economy Deflates Like a Week Old Pizza! Is it Doomsday Already?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:48
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes China's deflation woes, Trump's ludicrous tariffs, and Beijing's desperate attempts to stimulate consumption with subsidies for… smartphones? image

Good News Everyone! China's Economy Imploding Faster Than Expected!

Thu 10 April, 2025 01:48
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth explains how Trump's tariffs won't immediately impact prices, but businesses might be jumping the gun, and the economic future is still uncertain, good news everyone! image

Good News Everyone Tariffs Arent Raising Prices Just Yet!

Wed 09 April, 2025 15:43
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes how Trump's tariffs are disrupting global supply chains, leaving companies in a pickle and consumers footing the bill, oh dear! image

Good News Everyone Tariffs are Crushing Businesses' Dreams!

Wed 09 April, 2025 06:43
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth weighs in on the recent market bounce, warning it may be just a temporary reprieve in a larger economic downturn. image

Good News Everyone! Is This Market Rally Just a Fleeting Mirage?!

Tue 08 April, 2025 18:19
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the escalating trade war between the U.S. and China, filled with more tariffs than a robot strip club and countermeasures that would make Zapp Brannigan blush. image

Good News Everyone! Trump and China Throwing Tariffs Like I Throw Lab Monkeys!

Tue 08 April, 2025 02:03
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on the tech stock's attempt to recover after a devastating selloff triggered by Trump's tariffs, predicting further shenanigans and possibly, the end of the world as we know it! image

Good News Everyone! The Stock Market is Only Mostly Dead!

Mon 07 April, 2025 14:23
2 minutes to read

Experts cautiously optimistic about quantum computing's potential, from medical breakthroughs to optimizing package delivery, but the future remains as fuzzy as a cat in a box with questionable contents. image

Good News Everyone Quantum Computing Will Either Save Us Or Doom Us All!

Sun 06 April, 2025 13:57
3 minutes to read