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Showing 11 to 20 of 89 news articles

A federal judge intervenes after the Trump administration mistakenly deports a gay Guatemalan man to Mexico, highlighting systemic issues in immigration enforcement. image

Good News Everyone! Bureaucratic Blunder Saves Gay Guatemalan From Deportation Disaster!

Sat 24 May, 2025 10:24
3 minutes to read

The House GOP's 'One Big Beautiful Bill Act' jeopardizes affordable healthcare by failing to extend crucial ACA premium tax credits, potentially leaving millions uninsured. Oh, the humanity! image

Good News Everyone! Congress Forgets Your Health, Again!

Fri 23 May, 2025 15:59
2 minutes to read

Japan's core inflation hits 3.5%, fueled by rice prices, as the Bank of Japan ponders its next move amidst US tariff tremors. image

Good News Everyone! Japan's Inflation Spikes Faster Than a Hypnotoad's Gaze!

Thu 22 May, 2025 23:58
2 minutes to read

Japan's core inflation hits a surprising 3.5%, fueled by rice prices and tariff tensions, leaving the Bank of Japan scratching its collective head. image

Good News Everyone! Japan's Inflation Spikes Higher Than Fry's Hairline!

Thu 22 May, 2025 23:58
2 minutes to read

A deep dive into the troubles plaguing UnitedHealthcare, from billing disputes and cyberattacks to public outrage and regulatory scrutiny, raising questions about the future of healthcare in the U.S. image

Good News Everyone! UnitedHealthcare Under Fire: Is This Finally a Giant Leap for Mankind or Just Another Case of the Mondays?

Thu 22 May, 2025 13:26
3 minutes to read

After years of being overshadowed by the U.S. market, emerging market stocks are making a comeback, fueled by a weaker dollar, attractive valuations, and a desire for diversification. Could this be the start of a new bull market or will it fizzle out like my last attempt at inventing a smelloscope? image

Good News Everyone! Emerging Markets May Finally Be Worth More Than My Great Aunt's Collection of Empty Bender Oil Cans!

Wed 21 May, 2025 23:37
3 minutes to read

Canada Goose sees a stock surge after beating earnings estimates, but macroeconomic uncertainties prompt them to retract their 2026 financial outlook. Oh, the humanity! image

Good News Everyone! Canada Goose Stock Soars, But Future Still Fuzzy!

Wed 21 May, 2025 13:46
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth weighs in on Palo Alto Networks' CEO's warning and the future of cybersecurity in the age of increasingly intelligent agents. And questions if this is the end! image

Good News Everyone! AI Cyber Security to Inflection Point...Or is it Doomsday?

Tue 20 May, 2025 23:08
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on Cadillac's surge in EV sales, attracting Tesla owners seeking a change of pace, but is it really the future, or just a shiny distraction? image

Great News, Everyone! Cadillac Captures Tesla Defectors in Electric Vehicle Conquest!

Tue 20 May, 2025 14:00
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on Wynn Resorts abandoning their bid for a New York casino license amidst political squabbles and stiff competition. Stock buybacks, ho! image

Good News Everyone! Wynn Resorts Bails on New York Casino Dreams!

Mon 19 May, 2025 19:11
2 minutes to read