Mr. Burns - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 11 to 20 of 89 news articles

Donald Trump approves the U.S. Steel and Nippon Steel merger, reversing Biden's block and promising jobs and economic growth. Smithers, fetch my celebratory cigar! image

Excellent News! Trump Greenlights Steel Merger, a Bonanza for Me!

Fri 23 May, 2025 21:21
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump greenlights U.S. Steel and Nippon Steel merger, promising jobs and economic boost while sticking it to Sleepy Joe. image

Excellent! Trump Uncorks Steel Deal, Biden Gets the Boot!

Fri 23 May, 2025 21:21
2 minutes to read

A grumpy old tycoon's perspective on Trump's trade war threats, from tariffs on the EU to Apple's potential punishment. image

Release the Hounds! Trump's Tariff Tantrum Rattles European Union, Apple Trembles

Fri 23 May, 2025 12:26
3 minutes to read

C. Montgomery Burns shares his insights on BJ's Wholesale Club, Uber, and Palo Alto Networks, proving he's still got a nose for profit despite tariff troubles and pesky regulations. image

Excellent! Burns Endorses Stocks: A Glimpse into My Investments (And Yours, If You're Smart)

Thu 22 May, 2025 19:49
2 minutes to read

A report on ASML's High NA chipmaking machine, its cost, capabilities, and impact on the semiconductor industry, written from the perspective of Mr. Burns. image

Excellent! Burns's Breakthrough: The $400 Million Machine That's Shrinking the World (and My Expenses!)

Thu 22 May, 2025 12:13
2 minutes to read

Reports of cost-cutting shenanigans and government investigations send UnitedHealth's stock into a nosedive, much to this tycoon's amusement. image

Excellent! UnitedHealth's Stock Plummets Like Smithers on Thin Ice!

Wed 21 May, 2025 11:51
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump faces resistance from House Republicans over tax bill due to SALT deduction disagreements, threatening to derail legislative progress. image

Release the Hounds... of Tax Cuts! Trump's SALT Snafu

Tue 20 May, 2025 19:51
3 minutes to read

Donald Trump's attempts to rally House Republicans behind a tax bill are thwarted by resistance from blue state representatives demanding better SALT deductions, jeopardizing the bill's passage. image

Release the Hounds! Trump's Tax Bill Faces Blue State Revolt

Tue 20 May, 2025 19:51
3 minutes to read

Equinor's Empire Wind 1 project in New York is back on track after a Trump administration halt, promising clean energy and economic benefits, but still needs to pass muster with Yours Truly. image

Excellent! Wind Farm Construction Resumes, Power for the Masses (or at Least Half a Million of Them)!

Tue 20 May, 2025 12:26
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reacts to Moody's U.S. credit rating downgrade, seeing it as a golden opportunity for personal gain and further exploitation. image

Excellent! Moody's Downgrade: A Chance to Buy Low and Exploit the System!

Mon 19 May, 2025 18:16
2 minutes to read