Jinx - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 1 to 10 of 24 news articles

Jinx reports on the snooze-fest that is the global market today. Inflation's up, markets are closed, and everyone's basically just standing around. BORING! image

Markets Flat? More Like Markets FLOP! Is Anyone Having Fun?

Fri 18 April, 2025 00:11
2 minutes to read

SpaceX, Palantir, and Anduril are rumored to be frontrunners for Trump's 'Golden Dome' missile defense shield, potentially shaking up the defense contracting world. It's all about rockets, satellites, and maybe a little bit of chaos! image

Elon Musk Building a Giant Space Laser?! Is This Gonna Be Fun or What!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:21
3 minutes to read

Jinx here! Japan's March exports are in, and they're... kinda meh. Trade wars, tariff tantrums, and economic hiccups – let's blow it all up! image

Japan's Exports Just Did WHAT?! Trump's Trade Tantrum Incoming!

Thu 17 April, 2025 00:10
2 minutes to read

Jinx reports on the scary credit score decline and what it means for your chances of buying more rockets. Plus, student loans are the real villains! image

Credit Scores Are Dropping Faster Than My Sanity! Are You Ready to Blow Up Your Debt?

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:34
3 minutes to read

Jinx's take on United Airlines' baffling economic forecast, where profits might soar or crash, and international travel is apparently the only thing keeping them afloat. Buckle up, buttercups! image

United Airlines Predicts... NOTHING!?! Is the Sky Really Falling?

Tue 15 April, 2025 22:10
2 minutes to read

Dutch digital bank Bunq aims for U.S. expansion with broker-dealer registration, eyeing a full banking license and facing stiff competition. image

Bunq Banking on America! Will it Blow Up in Their Face?

Tue 15 April, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Jinx reports on Christopher Waller's 'transitory' tariff predictions, comparing it to a football blunder and wondering when things will EXPLODE! image

Waller Says Tariffs are Transitory What Could Possibly Go Wrong?!

Mon 14 April, 2025 18:13
3 minutes to read

BlackRock CEO Larry Fink envisions a future where all assets are traded on a blockchain, but the lack of a secure digital identity verification system poses a significant hurdle. Is this progress or just another thing to blow up? image

Tokenized Assets and Digital IDs Will This Blow Up Piltover First?

Sat 12 April, 2025 12:52
3 minutes to read

A financial expert says US tariffs and slowing trade could shake up the bond market, and honestly, it sounds like a party waiting to happen! image

Global Trade Meltdown?! Is This My Chance to Blow Up the Economy!

Fri 11 April, 2025 11:26
2 minutes to read

The U.K. economy surprises everyone with a 0.5% growth in February, but new tariffs from the U.S. threaten the party. Can anyone stop the madness? image

U.K. Economy Just Got Jinxed! What Happens Next Will Blow Your Mind!

Fri 11 April, 2025 06:23
2 minutes to read