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Showing 81 to 90 of 133 news articles

AppLovin reports earnings that would make even Michael Scott proud, sells its mobile gaming business for a pile of Schrute Bucks, and sets its sights on a daring TikTok takeover. Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica! image

Bears. Beets. Billion-Dollar Deals! AppLovin Sells Gaming Empire, Eyes TikTok Domination!

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:22
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on the unsettling trend of rising used car prices, fueled by tariff fears, while Schrute Farms beet prices remain tragically stable. image

Beet Prices Plummet While Used Car Values Soar: A Schrute Farms Market Report

Wed 07 May, 2025 15:33
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on the upcoming US-China trade talks, examining the potential for de-escalation and the pursuit of fair trade, all while maintaining the highest standards of beet-related security. image

Bears. Beets. Bilateral Trade! Schrute Farms Investigates US-China Economic Summit

Wed 07 May, 2025 00:01
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager (and Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy), dissects the Federal Reserve's upcoming decision, tariff anxieties, and the best investments to survive the economic beet-down. image

Bears. Beets. Bonds! Dwight Schrute's Guide to Navigating the Impending Fed Apocalypse (and Tariffs!)

Tue 06 May, 2025 16:03
4 minutes to read

A federal judge rules to keep disputed ballots in the 2024 North Carolina Supreme Court race count, potentially securing a Democratic victory and safeguarding the sanctity of the democratic process. Bears. Beets. Ballots. image

Beet Farmers Beware! Judge Upholds Election Integrity in North Carolina Supreme Court Race!

Tue 06 May, 2025 01:17
3 minutes to read

Assistant Regional Manager Dwight Schrute analyzes the volatile but promising outlook for Chinese technology stocks, proving that even beet farmers can understand market trends better than those city slickers. image

Bears. Beets. Breakouts! Schrute's Guide to Chinese Tech Domination

Mon 05 May, 2025 17:38
3 minutes to read

As AI rises, leaders clash over prioritizing profits versus protecting jobs. Is your beet farm safe? image

Bears. Beets. Bias! AI Apocalypse and the Fight for Jobs: A Schrute Farms Perspective

Mon 05 May, 2025 03:19
4 minutes to read

Rising tuition and looming debt are causing students to prioritize affordability when choosing a college, favoring public schools over private institutions. This affects not only their academic path but also their future financial stability. image

Bears. Beets. Bachelor's Degrees: College Costs Force Students to Make Tough Choices

Sat 03 May, 2025 13:15
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute exposes Google's advertising tech antitrust case, revealing the dangers of unchecked power and the urgent need for beet-fueled competition. image

False! Google's Monopoly: A Threat Level Midnight to Free Markets!

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:12
3 minutes to read

Despite a dip from last year, Shell's first-quarter earnings surpass expectations, fueled by strategic buybacks, proving they are not as soft as Ashton Kutcher. image

Shell's Profit: More Golden Tickets Than I Find Beet-Stained Nickels!

Fri 02 May, 2025 07:57
3 minutes to read