Iran's Oil Gambit A Sith Lord's Perspective on Diplomacy

A Disturbance in the Oil Field

As if I wasn't busy enough overseeing the construction of the new Death Star (a project perpetually behind schedule thanks to incompetent contractors) I now find myself commenting on… *oil*. Apparently Iran decided to bestow upon the United States a grand gesture allowing ten oil tankers safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz. A 'present,' they call it. I sense a trap. Just as I sensed young Skywalker's presence on the forest moon of Endor. These acts of perceived kindness are often the most dangerous.

The Emperor's New Oil

President Trump or as I like to call him 'the Emperor' of a far far away galaxy claims this is proof that they are 'real and solid.' As if letting a few ships pass through a vital waterway somehow equates to stability. It is like saying the Rebellion is legitimate because they managed to disable a single TIE fighter. The incompetence is staggering. These "talks" that Trump speaks of brokered through intermediaries... such amateur hour. I've seen more effective negotiations on Tatooine's black market. But speaking of that have you read Singapore's Construction Boom: A Muggle Marvel or a Magical Mess? It offers a much more stable point of view.

A 15 Point Framework of… Failure?

The U.S. in their infinite wisdom has apparently presented a '15 point framework' for a peace deal delivered via Pakistan which acts as mediator. Mediators are for the weak. The Force is strong with Iran if they are anything like me. Only through strength and decisive action can true order be established. A 15 point plan? How utterly bureaucratic. The Empire had a simple plan: complete and utter domination. It was far more effective albeit slightly less diplomatic.

Control is an Illusion Unless You Have a Superweapon

Iran's counteroffer apparently involves sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz. Naturally. They want control. As any Sith Lord would. Trump even floated the possibility of joint control with the Ayatollah. A partnership? Preposterous. There can be only one ruler of the galaxy or in this case the Strait of Hormuz. Remember my words 'If you are not with me then you are my enemy.'

The Fox News Prophecy

Trump claims he learned about the oil tankers from… Fox News. My lord is this what passes for intelligence gathering in this galaxy? Relying on sensationalist media reports to assess geopolitical developments is like relying on a Jawa to fix your hyperdrive. It is bound to end in disaster. Though I will admit even I sometimes find myself watching HoloNet News for updates on the Senate's latest failures.

One Percent is Unacceptable

Trump acknowledges the vulnerability of the Strait stating that even a 1% chance of a missile strike is unacceptable. He's right of course. Precision is key. Especially when dealing with volatile situations like this. It is like the plans for the Death Star. One small thermal exhaust port and the whole thing goes up in flames. Lessons learned apparently. Perhaps the U.S. should invest in a planetary shield. It worked wonders for Scarif… until it didn't.