Hawaii Underwater Mayhem Stewie Griffin's Take on the Great Flood of '24

The State of Deluge A Toddler's Perspective

Right then let's get down to brass tacks. Hawaii a place usually associated with sun surf and scantily clad beachgoers is currently resembling a rather large bathtub. We're talking the worst flooding in over 20 years which in toddler years is practically an eternity. I haven't seen this much water since Rupert decided to take a bath in the toilet. Authorities are scrambling people are evacuating and the Governor is talking about a billion dollar bill. Honestly where's Lex Luthor when you need him? A well placed dam explosion and now this? The universe is mocking my evil ambitions. I mean if I were in charge I'd have built a giant climate controlled biodome around the entire state. Think of the real estate value.

Dam Troubles and Dodgy Infrastructure

Now about this dam. Apparently it's been teetering on the brink of collapse since before I was plotting world domination from my crib. The Wahiawa dam built way back in 1906 is now considered to be at high risk. I believe Dole is involved somehow. This is like something out of a Bond movie except instead of a megalomaniacal villain we have a crumbling earthen structure and the potential for biblical levels of water damage. It's times like these I wonder what the world will do. Maybe they should read Oil Soars Above $100 Amidst Middle East Tensions: A Looming Global Economic Shock to understand what kind of times we are living through.

Climate Change or Just Bad Luck

The so called experts are blaming this whole mess on climate change. Apparently human caused global warming is making these heavy rains more frequent and intense. Which if true means we're all doomed. I mean I knew the world was going to end but I was hoping it would be by my hand not from some eco friendly apocalypse. What's the point of building a freeze ray if the planet's just going to drown itself? The utter indignity.

Heroes and Goats in Knee High Water

Amidst all the chaos there are stories of heroism of course. Farmers rescuing goats from knee high water families saving dogs from drowning kennels. It's all very heartwarming in a ridiculously sentimental sort of way. Still I suppose it does highlight the inherent goodness of the average simpleton. I mean who else would risk life and limb for a farm animal? I wouldn't even risk my custom made tuxedo for Rupert and he's practically family.

The Billion Dollar Aftermath

Governor Green is estimating the damage at over a billion dollars. Airports schools roads homes and even a hospital have been hit hard. Frankly I'm surprised they didn't build these things on stilts like some sort of futuristic water world village. It's Hawaii after all. You'd think they'd be prepared for the occasional deluge. This is why I should be in charge. I'd have a state of the art drainage system underwater tunnels and possibly a giant robotic shark to patrol the coastline. Think of the tourism potential.

Federal Aid and Future Preparations

The White House has promised federal support which is just as well. I mean someone has to pay for this mess. Hopefully they'll use the money wisely unlike when Peter tried to build a backyard swimming pool. I'm talking about investing in better infrastructure disaster preparedness and maybe a giant umbrella for the entire island. Or perhaps they should just move everyone to higher ground. I hear Greenland is lovely this time of year. No wait... I forgot about the polar bears.