D'oh No Flights Massive Winter Storm Grounds East Coast Travel

Ay Caramba Airlines Grounded by Snowpocalypse

Mmm snow. Usually I like it when it's covering everything so I can't see the mess in my yard. But this time it's causing all sorts of problems. Airlines those metal birds that take you to exciting places like… uh… anywhere that isn't Springfield are cancelling a whole lot of flights. Seems this 'Winter Storm' – they even gave it a name probably to scare us – is dumping tons of snow from Virginia to Maine. Two feet they say. Two feet of snow is a lot of snow. It's like uh ten donuts stacked on top of each other. Maybe twelve. I lost count. Anyways if you were planning on flying somewhere you might be stuck eating stale peanuts at the airport wishing you had a Duff Beer instead.

D'oh Travel Plans Ruined

So what does this mean for the average Joe or should I say the average Homer? It means your vacation to I dunno someplace warm and sunny might be delayed. Or cancelled. Airlines are saying they're waiving change fees which is nice I guess. But try telling that to my stomach when I'm supposed to be eating all you can eat shrimp at some fancy buffet. Delta American JetBlue… they're all doing it. Even Spirit which let's be honest probably needed an excuse to cancel flights anyway. Speaking of disruptions in the airline industry have you heard how Instacart Defies Doubters Stock Soars After Strong Results? It's like even when the world's falling apart with snow you can still get your groceries delivered. Now that's progress my friend even if it does mean less exercise before donut time. Even the airlines are getting affected American Airlines seems they have already lost 150 to 200 million because of past snow storms.

Mmm Waivers

These waivers they sound good right? Free changes. But here's the thing: you gotta actually *find* another flight. And with everyone else trying to do the same thing it's gonna be harder than sneaking a donut past Marge. Southwest is letting folks rebook within two weeks. That's… something. Honestly I'd rather just stay home and watch TV. Maybe catch an episode of Krusty the Clown. Or better yet find a marathon of that show where they build stuff out of donuts. Now *that's* entertainment.

Bart Simpson's Blizzard Adventures

While all you responsible adults are worrying about cancelled flights and rebooking Bart's probably having the time of his life. Building snow forts throwing snowballs at Milhouse maybe even trying to sled down the stairs. He's got the right idea. Forget the airports embrace the snow. Just don't tell him I said that. Marge would kill me if I encouraged his reckless behavior.

Is There Beer at the Airport

Alright alright enough complaining. Let's be realistic. If you're stuck at the airport the most important question is: Do they sell Duff Beer? If they do things might not be so bad. I can always find a way to entertain myself. Maybe start a conga line. Or challenge someone to a donut eating contest. Either way I'll make the best of it. Because that's what a Simpson does. We persevere. We endure. We eat donuts.

Donut Worry Be Happy

So East Coast brace yourselves for the snow. And everyone else spare a thought for those poor souls stuck in airports dreaming of warmer days and less turbulent skies. Remember even in the face of a blizzard there's always room for a little bit of Homer Simpson style optimism. And maybe a donut. Or twelve. D'oh.