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Australian stocks dipped post-election, while Asian markets snoozed, and oil prices took a nosedive faster than Link off a cliff. Is this Ganon's doing? image

Hyrule Market Watch: Is This the Economy of Courage or Just a Cucco Attack?

Mon 05 May, 2025 01:51
3 minutes to read

Australian markets experienced a slight downturn following Prime Minister Albanese's re-election, while most Asian markets were closed. But hey, at least it's not an intergalactic war, right? image

Aussie Markets Dip, But Don't Worry, I've Seen Worse (Like, Skrulls)

Mon 05 May, 2025 00:24
2 minutes to read

Borat reports on the surprising outcome of Romania's presidential election re-do, where a nationalist candidate is making big waves. Chenqui! image

JAGSSEMFELD! Romanian Election Re-Do Shows Hard-Right Dude Leading! Is Very Nice!

Sun 04 May, 2025 22:03
3 minutes to read

OPEC+ floods the market, oil prices crash, and I, Rick Sanchez, explain why it's all just a big, cosmic joke. image

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil Prices Plunge Like Morty's Confidence!

Sun 04 May, 2025 22:17
2 minutes to read

Disney and Marvel's 'Thunderbolts*' smashes box office expectations, proving the MCU's creative engine is still firing, leaving past struggles in the dust. image

Thunderbolts! Marvel's Summer Slam Dunk, More Electrifying Than My Cover Drives!

Sun 04 May, 2025 15:45
3 minutes to read

Retailers are freaking out over potential tariffs, and they're using it to try and trick you into buying more stuff! Jinx breaks down the madness and offers totally-not-suspicious shopping advice. image

Retail Apocalypse Now? Jinx's Guide to Surviving Trump's Trade Tantrums!

Sun 04 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on how Trump's tariffs and trade tensions are putting the squeeze on the Panama Canal, affecting global shipping and sparking political showdowns! image

Kamehame-HA! Trump's Trade War Threatens Panama Canal - Can It Survive?

Sun 04 May, 2025 13:30
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on Trump's recent interview where he takes credit for the good economy, blames Biden for the bad, and muses about doll ownership. image

Trump Says Economy is Like a Giant Chicken Fight: Good Parts are His, Bad Parts are Biden's Fault!

Sun 04 May, 2025 14:05
3 minutes to read

A look at Romania's critical presidential election redo, navigating political turmoil, foreign interference, and the hopes of a nation seeking stability and democratic renewal. image

By Hera! Romania's Presidential Election: A Test of Truth and Justice!

Sun 04 May, 2025 11:16
3 minutes to read

I'll Take Dividend Stocks For 1 Million Dollars!

Sun 04 May, 2025 11:18
3 minutes to read