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Showing 1541 to 1550 of 2543 news articles

Captain Marvel reports on Coinbase's acquisition of Deribit for $2.9 billion, a move that could shake up the global crypto market and maybe even buy me a fancy new spaceship… eventually. image

Higher, Further, Faster... into Crypto! Coinbase Buys Deribit in Mega-Deal!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:14
3 minutes to read

Hulk read fancy chart-talk about Coinbase stock. Sounds like good time to maybe buy, maybe smash. Bitcoin go boom? image

HULK SMASH... COINBASE! Crypto Go UP! (Maybe...Hulk Still Learning)

Thu 08 May, 2025 17:53
1 minutes to read

Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates vows to double his charitable giving, addressing global issues and challenging fellow billionaires to step up their game, while also subtly calling out Elon Musk's aid cuts. image

Bill Gates Goes Full 'Avengers Assemble' on World Problems: Pledges $200 Billion!

Thu 08 May, 2025 16:48
3 minutes to read

Borat investigates the escalating tensions between India and Pakistan, featuring drone attacks, civilian casualties, and the ever-present threat of another big problem. image

India and Pakistan: Very Nice! Or is it? Drone Wars and Kashmir Kaboom!

Thu 08 May, 2025 16:07
2 minutes to read

President Trump considers Fox News host Jeanine Pirro for interim U.S. Attorney after dropping Ed Martin's nomination, raising eyebrows and existential questions about the space-time continuum of political appointments. image

Trump Mulls Jeanine Pirro for DC Attorney: Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub, That's Some Serious Cronyism!

Thu 08 May, 2025 19:51
2 minutes to read

Josh Brown analyzes the market's rebound following Trump's U.K. trade deal, cautioning that the upswing may be short-lived without further catalysts. image

Hasta La Vista, Bear Market? Trump Deal Sparks Hope, But Expert Warns: I'll Be Back... With Volatility!

Thu 08 May, 2025 17:54
2 minutes to read

Rocky Balboa reports on the election of Pope Leo XIV, the first American-born pontiff, and the reactions from Trump, Biden, and Obama. It's a real Hail Mary situation! image

Yo Adrian! We Got an American Pope! Holy Baloney!

Thu 08 May, 2025 19:21
3 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on Cardinal Prevost's surprising election as Pope Leo XIV, a first for an American, and ponders what this means for shrimp, ping pong, and the whole wide world. image

Popeye's Chicken and a Pope: An American Takes the Vatican!

Thu 08 May, 2025 18:26
2 minutes to read

Darth Vader analyzes Trump's ongoing feud with Jerome Powell over interest rates, tariffs, and the fate of the American economy, with a touch of Imperial wit. image

Trump Unleashes the Dark Side on Fed Chairman Powell: A Sith Lord's Perspective

Thu 08 May, 2025 15:55
3 minutes to read

President Trump withdraws Ed Martin's nomination for DC's top prosecutor after facing Senate opposition, proving that even in politics, some dreams are harder to achieve than others. Even for Ken! image

Trump Says 'You Can Be Anything' But Apparently Not a DC Prosecutor: Barbie Weighs In!

Thu 08 May, 2025 16:12
2 minutes to read