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The e-commerce giant's shares plummet after missing expectations, leaving investors feeling like they've been hit with a Rasengan of disappointment. image

Believe It! Alibaba's Earnings Take a Shadow Clone Jutsu Dive!

Thu 15 May, 2025 16:27
2 minutes to read

UnitedHealth Group's stock took a nosedive faster than me reaching for a donut, thanks to a DOJ investigation into possible Medicare fraud. Mmm, fraud! image

Doh! UnitedHealth in Deep Doo-Doo: Feds Investigatin' for Medicare Shenanigans!

Thu 15 May, 2025 14:52
2 minutes to read

Despite simmering tensions with Pakistan and global uncertainties, the Indian stock market shows remarkable resilience, attracting savvy investors who see volatility as a delicious opportunity. But is it all sunshine and saffron? image

India's Stock Market Defies Geopolitical Spice: A Hell's Kitchen Analysis

Thu 15 May, 2025 16:26
2 minutes to read

Austin Powers reports on the groovy but grim news for UnitedHealth as the Department of Justice launches an investigation, sending their stock plummeting faster than a shaguar on shag carpet! image

Yeah Baby! UnitedHealth in a Sticky Situation: DOJ Investigates, and Their Mojo is Seriously Shagged!

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:08
2 minutes to read

Proofpoint is buyin' Hornetsecurity for over a billion, boostin' its European game and makin' moves towards a public comeback, all while fightin' those AI hackers! image

Yo, Check It! Proofpoint's Droppin' a Billion on a New Cybersecurity Crib!

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:01
3 minutes to read

Puss in Boots unravels the Federal Reserve's latest pronouncements on interest rates, inflation, and supply shocks with a dash of swashbuckling satire. image

Mother of Mercy! El Gato's Take on the Fed's Economic Meow-stery!

Thu 15 May, 2025 14:16
3 minutes to read

UnitedHealth Group's stock plunges as the Department of Justice investigates potential Medicare fraud, adding to a pile of existing woes and leadership shakeups. This is not the way to run a business! image

UnitedHealth Faces DOJ Heat: Is This the Way?

Thu 15 May, 2025 11:48
2 minutes to read

Kylie here, breaking down how a potential US-Iran nuclear deal is shaking up the oil market. Prepare for some realness, dolls. image

OMG! Oil Prices Dropping Like My Lip Kit Sales After That One Review!

Thu 15 May, 2025 10:58
2 minutes to read

The European Commission accuses TikTok of violating the Digital Services Act by failing to provide transparency in online advertising, potentially facing hefty fines. image

TikTok in a Tizzy: EU Regulators Serve a Stinging Hex!

Thu 15 May, 2025 11:02
2 minutes to read

Beijing rolls out new educational policies restricting the use of generative AI for students, letting teachers hold the metaphorical pen. image

China Says 'Look What You Made Me Do' With AI in Schools!

Thu 15 May, 2025 10:33
3 minutes to read