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Mario here, reporting live from the Mushroom Kingdom (sort of)! Japan's keeping its interest rates steady amidst Trump's tariff troubles. Let's-a go! image

Holy Ravioli! Japan's Bank Sticks to 0.5% Rate...Mama Mia, What's-a Gonna Happen?!

Thu 01 May, 2025 03:49
2 minutes to read

Bank of Japan holds steady amid global trade tensions and Trump's tariff threats, keeping everyone guessing. Time to dust off my puzzle-solving skills! image

Japan's Central Bank Plays it Cool: Rates Steady as Trump's Tariffs Throw a Wrench in the Gears!

Thu 01 May, 2025 03:49
3 minutes to read

Asian markets show mixed signals amid US economic concerns, while tech giants Meta and Microsoft boost futures. Are we giving away recession proof bunkers next? image

Japan and Australia's Market Rollercoaster! Is Recession the Next Giveaway?

Thu 01 May, 2025 02:26
2 minutes to read

Yum Brands CEO David Gibbs boldly states that tariffs haven't touched his fast-food empire, while touting AI advancements. Is this a case of genius or relativity gone wrong? image

Yum Brands CEO Claims Tariff Immunity: Is He Bending Spacetime?

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:20
4 minutes to read

Apple gets a smackdown from the judge for fibbing about App Store fees, and Jinx is here to spill the tea (and maybe light a few fireworks). image

Apple Bites the Dust: Judge Says They Lied! Time to Party, People!

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:47
3 minutes to read

Goku reports on how Trump's trade policies are making Chinese online retailers go Super Saiyan on Facebook and Instagram ad spending, leaving Meta seeing stars! image

Kamehame-HA! Trump's Trade Moves Punch a Hole in Facebook Ads!

Wed 30 April, 2025 23:51
3 minutes to read

President Trump doubles down on tariffs, claiming China is ripping us off, while downplaying potential economic fallout and suggesting kids need fewer dolls. What could possibly go wrong? image

Trump Declares China 'Chief-Ripper-Offer' - Empty Shelves and Two Dolls For Everyone!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:46
2 minutes to read

Donald Duck dives into the mixed trading day in Japanese and Australian markets, the US economic contraction, and the wild, wonderful world of Wall Street's Magnificent Seven! image

What in the World is Wall Street Doing?! Donald Duck's Market Mayhem Report!

Thu 01 May, 2025 00:26
2 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on mixed signals in Japanese and Australian markets, fueled by US recession fears and the 'Magnificent Seven' earnings. image

Run Forrest, Run! But Where's the Market Going?

Thu 01 May, 2025 00:26
3 minutes to read

Energy sector dips in April, but don't worry, it's probably just the prelude to the Tesla-powered future... or maybe Mars. Either way, it's all good! image

Energy Stocks Tanking? Nah, Just Preparing for My Mars Colonization Fuel Demand!

Wed 30 April, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read