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Pope Leo XIV pledges to continue Pope Francis's vision, addressing reforms, social justice, and even...Artificial Intelligence? Blimey! image

Shiver Me Timbers! New Pope Sails the Seas of Change!

Sat 10 May, 2025 13:37
2 minutes to read

European leaders, backed by Trump and the looming threat of Chuck Norris-level sanctions, tell Putin to play nice…or face the consequences. image

Chuck Norris Approves: Ukraine's 30-Day Ceasefire…Or Else!

Sat 10 May, 2025 13:25
2 minutes to read

Morpheus analyzes the matrix of Wall Street, revealing potentially overbought and oversold stocks poised for a reality check. Are you ready to unplug? image

Red Pill Stocks: Are These Market Darlings Glitching?

Sat 10 May, 2025 12:27
3 minutes to read

Economists think Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell may be too slow on the draw when it comes to interest rates. Time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum. image

Hail to the King, Baby! Is the Fed About to Get Nuked?

Sat 10 May, 2025 12:47
3 minutes to read

Yours Truly, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, reports on the surprising (and perhaps temporary) peace accord between India and Pakistan. image

Winter is NOT Coming: India and Pakistan Ceasefire Announced!

Sat 10 May, 2025 13:31
3 minutes to read

Shrek reports on the latest spat between India and Pakistan, filled with more drama than a dragon guarding a princess, and spiced with a healthy dose of ogre-sized satire. image

Ogres Are Like Onions, This Conflict Is Getting Layers: India and Pakistan Clash...Again!

Sat 10 May, 2025 10:01
3 minutes to read

Amidst escalating tensions with India, Pakistan's Defence Minister denies rumors of a National Command Authority meeting, while the U.S. urges de-escalation. Is this just political theater, or is something more sinister brewing? image

Pakistan Says "The Odds Are Ever in Our Favor"... Or Are They? Nuclear Command Meeting Drama Unfolds

Sat 10 May, 2025 06:59
2 minutes to read

Aging infrastructure and staffing shortages plague U.S. air traffic control, leading to costly delays and prompting calls for a $30 billion overhaul. Even Captain Marvel can't fly through that mess! image

Higher, Further, Faster...Grounded? U.S. Air Traffic Control System Needs a Heroic Upgrade!

Fri 09 May, 2025 19:55
4 minutes to read

Hulk read news! Tariffs, not AI, make companies angry! Hulk think it's all puny human problem! image

Hulk Smash Tariffs! Stupid Taxes Make Everyone Angry!

Fri 09 May, 2025 20:03
2 minutes to read

Wall Street's doing a jig 'cause SharkNinja's ditching China, makin' ice cream and vacuums like a boss, and makin' money hand over fist! image

Aw, Phooey! SharkNinja Dumps China, Stocks Go Quackers!

Fri 09 May, 2025 16:47
2 minutes to read