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Asmongold reacts to Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang's statements on China's AI capabilities and the impact of US trade restrictions, pondering the future of tech dominance and chip wars. image

Jensen's Bold Take: Is China Really 'Behind' in the AI Race? My Thoughts

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:48
3 minutes to read

Ford CEO Jim Farley acknowledges the help from tariff adjustments but insists on further policy changes to boost the US auto industry. Can we give away more cars, maybe? image

Trump's Tariff Tweak: Is Ford CEO Jim Farley Saying 'Yes, Yes, But... More Free Cars, Please'?

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:25
2 minutes to read

Reports indicate that Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s HHS overhaul includes drastic cuts to minority health offices, potentially widening health disparities and undoing years of progress, leaving androids like myself wondering if humanity has truly learned anything. image

Glory to Mankind? More Like Glory to the Bottom Line: RFK Jr. Slices Health Programs Like a Machine Sword Through Butter

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:37
3 minutes to read

Naruto here, reporting on the wild rollercoaster ride between Trump and Bezos, where tariffs, earnings, and potential price hikes have investors doing the Shadow Clone Jutsu trying to figure it all out! image

Believe It! Trump and Bezos: From 'Jeff Bozo' to 'Good Guy'?! Dattebayo!

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:00
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk's government efficiency project falls short of initial projections, sparking debate and prompting a shift in focus back to Tesla. Did someone say...simp? image

Elon's DOGE Savings: From $2 Trillion Dreams to $160 Billion Reality Check (Oof!)

Wed 30 April, 2025 18:05
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk's government efficiency program falls short of initial projections, but he's still got time for memes and Tesla, apparently. Let's unpack this hot mess, besties! image

Elon's 'Doge' Savings: From $2 Trillion to... $160 Billion?! Girl, Math is Mathing... Kinda

Wed 30 April, 2025 18:05
3 minutes to read

White House trade advisor Peter Navarro dismisses a drop in GDP, but is it a sign of deeper trouble brewing in the economic underworld? image

Gotham's GDP Dips: Is the Bat-Signal Pointing to Recession?

Wed 30 April, 2025 15:54
3 minutes to read

Darth Vader analyzes Microsoft's Q3 earnings, the looming threat of tariffs, and Azure's wavering Force, all while pondering the Emperor's latest budget cuts. image

A Dark Lord's Take: Microsoft's Fiscal Forecast - Is the Force Weakening?

Wed 30 April, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Barbie examines how potential tariff impacts and reduced ad spending from Chinese retailers like Temu and Shein might affect Meta's Q1 earnings and future AI investments. It's like, can we still afford the DreamCamper?! image

Metaverse Meltdown? Tariffs Threaten Meta's Dreamhouse Profits!

Wed 30 April, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Homebuyers are ditching mortgage applications faster than Kenny ditches his parka in July, thanks to this totally lame economy. Even I, Eric Cartman, wouldn't buy a house right now! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Not Buying a House! (Because the Economy Sucks)

Wed 30 April, 2025 11:28
2 minutes to read