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Yours Truly, CR7, reports on the dramatic exit of Mike Waltz from the Trump administration amidst Signal app controversy, and whether this is even good enough or worthy of my attention. image

Mike Waltz Out! Is This Another CR7 Bicycle Kick Gone Wrong?

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:03
3 minutes to read

Lionel Messi analyzes Goldman Sachs' latest stock picks, including the addition of Johnson & Johnson to their 'U.S. Conviction List,' and offers his unique perspective on market stability and potential upsets. image

Goldman Sachs Bets on J&J: Even I Could Score with That Pick!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:32
2 minutes to read

Like finding the One Piece, CoreWeave's stock price soars as Microsoft and Meta's cloud expansions fuel its growth, dodging potential tariff troubles! image

SHISHISHI! CoreWeave's TREASURE CHEST Swells Thanks to Microsoft and Meta!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:55
2 minutes to read

The Ghost of Sparta weighs in on Elon Musk's scrutiny of the Federal Reserve's exorbitant $2.5 billion renovation project, questioning the gods themselves on where taxpayer money is truly going. image

Elon Musk's Fury: Is the Federal Reserve Remodeling Asgard?

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:33
3 minutes to read

Spidey reports on the recent auto sales spike and subsequent slowdown, all thanks to those pesky tariffs. Are we headed for a vehicular villain showdown? image

Holy Tariffs, Batman! Car Sales Surge Then Stalled Faster Than My Web-Shooters!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:24
3 minutes to read

Frustrated with Boeing's delays, the U.S. explores modifying a used Qatari jumbo jet into a new presidential plane, sparking a whirlwind of deals and potential overruns. image

Air Force One Upgrade: Trump Ditches Boeing, Chooses Qatar's Old Bird

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:30
3 minutes to read

Saul Goodman breaks down how Trump's tariffs could turn Apple's golden apple into a poisoned one, with Wall Street watching every bite. image

Apple Bites the Big One? Trump's Tariffs Threaten iPhone Empire!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:00
3 minutes to read

Amazon's Q1 earnings are coming, and everyone's talking about my beautiful tariffs. Let's see if they thank me later! image

Amazon's Earnings? HUGE! Tariffs? Even HUGER! (And I'm Always Right, Believe Me!)

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:01
2 minutes to read

Anthropic's Claude AI now automates business tasks across platforms, raising questions about who really needs a coffee break. image

Wake Me When Claude Finishes My Taxes: AI Takes Over the Office

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:03
2 minutes to read

Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo are all raising prices on consoles and games, and The Joker has some thoughts (obviously). image

Why So Serious, Gamers? Xbox Prices Take a Tumble... Upwards!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:18
3 minutes to read