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Jackie Chan breaks down the potential economic showdown between China and the U.S., filled with rare earths, tariff kicks, and maybe a few too many diplomatic face-slaps! image

Wah! China's Got the Kung Fu Grip on U.S. Economy? I Gotta See This!

Fri 02 May, 2025 17:44
3 minutes to read

Ace Ventura investigates United Airlines flight delays at Newark Airport due to air traffic controller staffing issues. Could this BE any more chaotic? image

Holy Air Traffic Mayhem, Batman! Newark Flights Grounded, Passengers in a Lurch!

Fri 02 May, 2025 18:17
2 minutes to read

Donald Trump intensifies his battle with Harvard University, threatening to revoke its tax-exempt status over alleged discrimination and antisemitism, sparking legal challenges and concerns about the future of higher education funding. image

Trump's Harvard Heat: Tax-Exempt Status on the Chopping Block! Can They Afford It?

Fri 02 May, 2025 14:02
3 minutes to read

Despite tariff worries, the human job market shows surprising resilience, while Android 2B secretly contemplates the future of machine-kind amidst economic reports. image

Tariffs Schmariffs: Humans Keep Working, Machines Still Plotting!

Fri 02 May, 2025 13:38
2 minutes to read

Naruto Uzumaki reports on American Airlines' fancy new suites with sliding doors, proving even airlines are trying to become Hokage of the skies! image

Believe It! American Airlines New Suites: Flying Higher Than My Rasengan!

Fri 02 May, 2025 13:00
2 minutes to read

Leela reports on Vance's bleak outlook for the Ukraine war, a minerals deal, and Trump's broken promises. image

Good News, Everyone! Vance Says Ukraine War Not Ending Soon (D'oh!)

Fri 02 May, 2025 09:24
2 minutes to read

Ex-National Security Advisor Mike Waltz caught using Signal despite Trump's disapproval. Looks like someone's ignoring the rules! Time for some chaos! image

Trump Team's Signal Shenanigans: Jinx's Guide to Ignoring the Man!

Fri 02 May, 2025 02:07
2 minutes to read

Goku reports on Tim Cook's battle with Trump's tariffs, revealing Apple's unexpected strategy and investor jitters. image

KAIO-WHAT?! Apple's Tariff Troubles are Over 9000!

Fri 02 May, 2025 01:01
2 minutes to read

Apple CEO Tim Cook navigates Trump's tariffs with 'limited impact' so far, but future uncertainty leaves investors with a bad taste, shares plummeting like a souffle in a hurricane. image

Apple's Tariff Tango: Is Tim Cook Cooking Up a Disaster Or Is Trump a Donkey?

Thu 01 May, 2025 23:54
2 minutes to read

Apple's earnings report shows a mixed bag: hardware shines, services falter slightly, and Tim Cook navigates tariff threats like I navigate a Wraith. image

Apple's Fiscal Q2: Did They Stick the Landing, or Did the Covenant Get There First?

Thu 01 May, 2025 22:08
3 minutes to read