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Eddy Cue drops a truth bomb, suggesting AI could dethrone Google, sending both Apple and Alphabet stocks into a downward spiral faster than a tutu-wearing rhino on roller skates. image

ALLLLRIGHTY THEN! Apple and Google's Love Nest Gets a Serious AI Infestation!

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:55
3 minutes to read

Mr. Bean reports on the possible name change of the Persian Gulf, stirring up more trouble than a stray teddy bear at a fancy tea party. image

Holy Haberdashery! Trump Wants to Rename the Persian Gulf!

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:56
2 minutes to read

Despite macro concerns, Disney's strong quarterly results and optimistic guidance have analysts predicting a profitable resurgence. But remember, there's no fate but what we make for ourselves... image

Disney's 'I'll Be Back' Moment: Analysts Believe the Mouse Will Roar Again!

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:53
3 minutes to read

Tony Montana breaks down the high-stakes trade negotiations between the U.S. and China, where everyone's playing hardball and nobody wants to lose face. image

Say Hello to My Little Tariff: China and the U.S. Trade War Gets Real!

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:06
3 minutes to read

Air traffic control woes, old tech, and staffing shortages plague Newark Airport, causing flight delays and raising safety concerns. Captain Jack Sparrow investigates! image

Savvy Skies or Scurvy System? Newark Flights Grounded!

Wed 07 May, 2025 17:37
3 minutes to read

Chuck Norris weighs in on the Federal Reserve's decision to hold interest rates steady amidst trade policy uncertainty and economic volatility. image

Federal Reserve Holds Steady: Does the Economy Need a Roundhouse Kick?

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:27
2 minutes to read

Leela's got the scoop on the Fed's latest statement: Rates stay put, but economic doom lurks. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and maybe invest in Planet Express stock? image

Good News, Everyone! Fed Holds Steady, But Stagflation Still Trying to Kill Us All!

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:19
3 minutes to read

Target faces boycotts, competition, and internal struggles, leading to market share loss and calls for a strategic reboot. Can they find their Triforce of Courage before it's too late? image

Target Hit Harder Than a Cucco: Can the Retail Giant Recover Before Ganon Arrives?

Wed 07 May, 2025 15:00
3 minutes to read

Mario dives into the latest news on the used car market, where prices are soaring faster than Bowser's airship thanks to tariff talks and a 'spring bounce' that just won't quit! image

It's-a Me! Mario! Reporting on Used Car Prices That Are-a Jumpin' Higher Than My High Score!

Wed 07 May, 2025 15:33
2 minutes to read

Lara Croft investigates the potential shift in the search engine landscape as Apple eyes AI alternatives to Google, potentially disrupting a multi-billion dollar deal and sending shockwaves through the tech world. image

AI Apocalypse Looms: Is Google About to Become Another Lost Artifact?

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:14
3 minutes to read