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Republican Judge Jefferson Griffin finally concedes to Democratic Justice Allison Riggs in North Carolina Supreme Court race after months of legal challenges, making Hyrule look comparatively stable. image

Hyrule Has More Stable Elections Than North Carolina! (Maybe...)

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:17
3 minutes to read

Mario jumps into the news to report on President Trump's offer to mediate between India and Pakistan, hoping for a peaceful resolution faster than you can say 'Mama Mia!' image

It's-a Me, Mario! Reporting on a-Trump's Offer to Fix-a the India-Pakistan Squabble!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:30
2 minutes to read

AppLovin beats expectations, sells its gaming division, and eyes a partnership with TikTok, proving that in the world of tech, fortunes can change faster than you can say 'Lara Croft'. image

AppLovin' It or Leaving It? Gaming Sale and TikTok Dreams

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:22
2 minutes to read

Fred Flinstone reports on Arm's recent stock tumble after a less-than-stellar financial forecast, proving even Bedrock's tech is prone to a rocky ride. image

Yabba Dabba Doo-med? Arm Shares Take a Dino-Dive!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:46
2 minutes to read

President Trump withdraws Dr. Janette Nesheiwat's nomination for Surgeon General amidst scrutiny, opting for Dr. Casey Means. Buckle up, Earth nerds, this is gonna be a bumpy ride! image

Trump's Surgeon General Shuffle: More Dramatic Than a Kree-Skrull War!

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:09
2 minutes to read

President Trump refuses to budge on tariffs, setting the stage for a showdown with China. Rambo offers his unique perspective. image

Trump Stands His Ground: No Tariff Relief for China! (Rambo's Take)

Wed 07 May, 2025 18:56
2 minutes to read

Republican candidate Judge Jefferson Griffin concedes after months-long legal battle to overturn his defeat in the North Carolina Supreme Court race, marking a victory for Democratic Justice Allison Riggs and a reaffirmation of the people's will. image

By Hera! Democracy Prevails in North Carolina: One Judge's Quest to Overturn Election Results Meets Lasso of Truth!

Wed 07 May, 2025 19:45
3 minutes to read

Dr. Evil analyzes Trump's latest power play: A new ambassador, looming tariffs, and world domination... maybe. image

One Million Tariffs! Trump Sends New Minion to China! Mwahaha!

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:02
2 minutes to read

Cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike announces layoffs citing AI advancements, while reaffirming financial forecasts and sparking market reaction. But don't worry, Autobots are still hiring! image

CrowdStrike Cuts 500 Bots... I Mean Humans! AI to Blame, Says Optimus Prime

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:04
2 minutes to read

Carvana defies expectations with record sales and earnings, driven by consumer behavior amid tariff anxieties. A surprising, but ultimately logical, outcome. image

Carvana's Stellar Performance: Is This Logic, Or Just Good Fortune?

Wed 07 May, 2025 20:11
3 minutes to read