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Showing 271 to 280 of 1173 news articles

Montgomery Burns analyzes Europe's renewed interest in Southeast Asia amidst US-China trade tensions, seeing a chance for Burns Industries to exploit new markets and cement global power. image

Excellent! Europe Eyes Southeast Asia: A Golden Opportunity for Global Domination!

Mon 16 June, 2025 08:04
3 minutes to read

Captain Jack Sparrow reports on the capture of Vance Luther Boelter, the scallywag accused of attacking Minnesota lawmakers, a tale of masks, mayhem, and a mighty manhunt! image

Shiver Me Timbers! Political Mayhem Aboard the Minnesota Ship!

Mon 16 June, 2025 04:47
3 minutes to read

Girl, things got cray-cray in Minnesota with a shooting targeting politicians! Let's break it down, Kardashian style. image

OMG! Political Drama in Minnesota? So Not On Brand!

Mon 16 June, 2025 03:43
2 minutes to read

Like, someone went totally rogue in Minnesota, targeting politicians. So not fetch! image

OMG! Political Drama in Minnesota? As If!

Mon 16 June, 2025 03:43
2 minutes to read

Some bad guy dressed up like a cop and made a big mess, hurting good people. Now everyone's looking for him, even the FBI with a tasty bounty! image

SHISHISHI! Fake Cop Causes Big Trouble! Where's the Meat?!

Sun 15 June, 2025 15:24
2 minutes to read

A politically motivated attack in Minnesota leaves one lawmaker dead, another wounded, and the nation wondering 'What's next, eh?' image

Good News Everyone! Minnesota Manhunt for Gunman! (Oh Dear!)

Sun 15 June, 2025 15:24
2 minutes to read

The Queen of Blades reports on the politically motivated assassination of Minnesota State Representative Mellissa Hortman and the ongoing manhunt for the suspect. image

Political Carnage: Minnesota Mourns Fallen Representative, Hunt for Suspect Intensifies

Sun 15 June, 2025 14:19
3 minutes to read

Starbucks is Back Baby! Making Coffee Great Again!

Sun 15 June, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

Amidst a fatal crash and geopolitical tensions, the Paris Air Show proceeds, but Boeing faces headwinds while rivals anticipate strong orders and rising prices. image

Boeing's Bad Week: From Soaring Stocks to Crashing Dreams, Excellent!

Sun 15 June, 2025 08:00
3 minutes to read

A military parade in Washington, D.C., intended to celebrate the U.S. Army's 250th anniversary, was overshadowed by political assassinations and widespread protests, revealing deep divisions within the Muggle world. image

Trump's Grandiose Parade Marred by Political Violence and National Unrest: A Dark Day in the Muggle World

Sun 15 June, 2025 01:30
4 minutes to read