US News - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 1081 to 1090 of 1173 news articles

Tesla's stock price plummets after a brief surge, raising questions about its future amidst tariff wars and Elon Musk's antics. Ay, caramba! image

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet! Is This the End of the Line for Elon's Ride?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 20:20
2 minutes to read

Eyewitness report from Captain Jack Sparrow on the unfortunate splashdown of a helicopter in the Hudson, with talk of fatalities and a proper investigation. Savvy? image

Blimey A Chopper Went for a Swim in the Hudson! Fatalities Ahoy!

Thu 10 April, 2025 20:25
2 minutes to read

Shrek reports on how Trump's tariffs and immigration policies are making Hispanic folks tighten their belts, leading to less beer money and a sad ogre. image

What in Tarnation is Happening to My Brew! Trump's Policies Ruining Beer?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 16:44
2 minutes to read

A satirical look at how the bond market's reaction to Trump's tariff plans led to a policy pivot and market volatility, analyzed through the lens of Tony Stark's wit and wisdom. image

Did Trump Just Get Bonded! The Market Is Talking, And It Ain't Saying 'Genius'!

Thu 10 April, 2025 18:05
3 minutes to read

Consumer price inflation cools down unexpectedly in March, but looming tariffs threaten to heat things up again. Will the economy survive, or will it crumble like a poorly made Themysciran vase? image

Inflation Tamed Like a Cheetah! Is Trump's Tariff Tango About to Trip Us Up?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 13:18
3 minutes to read

Citigroup upgrades U.S. equities after Trump's trade policy U-turn, but is it a trap? image

Trump Saves U.S. Stocks... Or Does He!?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 14:10
2 minutes to read

Puss in Boots reports on Amazon CEO Andy Jassy's shareholder letter, predicting cheaper AI and streamlined operations, all while maintaining a 'world's largest startup' mentality. Ole! image

Amazon's Secret Plan to Make AI Dirt Cheap Revealed! Will This Change Everything?

Thu 10 April, 2025 11:29
3 minutes to read

Major League Baseball owners are considering a salary cap, potentially leading to a player lockout and a battle over the future of the sport's financial structure. image

This Is the Way... to Ruin Baseball?! Salary Cap Chaos Incoming!

Thu 10 April, 2025 10:00
4 minutes to read

Kylie Jenner breaks down Andy Jassy's shareholder letter, revealing how Amazon's 'Why' culture is low-key genius and why AI is, like, totally the future. Don't be tardy to the party! image

OMG Amazon is Thriving! Like, Literally Slaying the Game!?

Thu 10 April, 2025 10:15
3 minutes to read

Lara Croft analyzes Ray Dalio's take on Trump's tariff policy reversal, wondering if this is a win for global trade or a prelude to financial disaster. image

Trump Caves! Will He Plunge the World into Economic Peril?

Thu 10 April, 2025 07:49
3 minutes to read