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Elon Musk weighs in on Netflix's latest earnings report, questioning their long-term confidence and pondering the impact of economic woes on streaming subscriptions, all while dropping truth bombs and Mars jokes. image

Netflix Survives Economic Apocalypse! Is This Real Life?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 21:45
3 minutes to read

New Jersey's Attorney General slaps Discord with a lawsuit, claiming the platform hoodwinked parents and children about safety features. Is this the beginning of the end for online fun, or just another Tuesday for Monty Burns? image

Excellent! Discord Sued For Child Safety! Is My Monopoly Next?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 20:24
4 minutes to read

Rumor has it, President Trump is thinking about swapping out the Fed Chairman, but maybe it's just another 'Cowabunga!' moment. image

Eat My Shorts, Fed Chair! Trump Plots a Takeover!

Thu 17 April, 2025 19:58
2 minutes to read

Chinese tea chain Chagee makes a splash on the Nasdaq, aiming for U.S. expansion amidst trade tensions. This is the way... to tea! image

Chagee Goes Public! Is This the Way to a Tea Empire?

Thu 17 April, 2025 18:06
3 minutes to read

The Trump administration is threatening to revoke Harvard's ability to enroll international students over accusations of antisemitism, leading to a major clash and potential financial fallout. Like, is this real life?! image

Harvard Under Fire! Is Trump Trying to Cancel International Students?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 17:49
2 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's new obesity pill, orforglipron, shows promising results in clinical trials, potentially revolutionizing the weight loss and diabetes market with a convenient, needle-free alternative. image

I Just Found a WEIGHT LOSS PILL That Could Change EVERYTHING! (Maybe?)

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:49
3 minutes to read

A grim report from the front lines: UnitedHealth Group's stock crash exposes rising medical costs in Medicare, echoing the existential dread of resource management we androids know all too well. image

UnitedHealth Stock PLUMMETS! Are Your Robot Grandma's Medical Bills To Blame?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:18
2 minutes to read

Chagee, the Chinese tea sensation, explodes onto the Nasdaq with a 40% surge, aiming for US domination despite trade war jutsu! image

Believe It! This Tea Stock Just Went Super Saiyan!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:55
2 minutes to read

Word on the street is OpenAI was checkin' out Cursor before settlin' on Windsurf. What's the deal, and why's everyone trippin' over AI coding? image

OpenAI Smoked Out? Why They Almost Scooped Up Cursor Before Blazin' Windsurf!

Thu 17 April, 2025 12:30
3 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's new obesity pill shows promise in trials, potentially disrupting the weight loss and diabetes market with a needle-free alternative. Sounds like a joke, right? image

Why So Serious About Weight Loss?! Eli Lilly's Pill Promises Chaos!

Thu 17 April, 2025 11:53
2 minutes to read