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Data analytics firm Palantir surpasses Salesforce in market capitalization, fueled by government contracts and AI dominance, but is its valuation as inflated as a Xenomorph's ego? image

Palantir Joins Tech Elite: I See You, Salesforce (and Your Inferior Market Cap)!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:17
2 minutes to read

Pinterest defies ad-pocalypse predictions with a surprise Q1 surge, leaving other tech giants sweating like facehugger victims. image

Pinterest's Profit Pin-Up: Surviving the Digital Xenomorphs!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Despite a better-than-expected profit report, Affirm's future revenue forecast disappoints analysts, causing a dip in the stock market, as the winds of economic uncertainty howl across the land. image

A Shadow of Doubt? Affirm's Forecast Fails to Charm, Shares Stumble!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:21
3 minutes to read

Lyft boosts its share buyback program to $750 million, leading to a stock surge and whispers of financial Triforce mastery! image

Lyft's Rupees Rise: A Hyrulean Heroine's Take on the Ride-Sharing Realm!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:23
3 minutes to read

Luffy here, reporting on Amazon's new service delivering pet prescriptions, promising quicker deliveries, and a fight against Chewy and Walmart for the 'Best Pet Care' title! image

Shishishi! Amazon's New Treasure: Pet Meds Delivered Faster Than Sanji Cooks!

Thu 08 May, 2025 18:17
2 minutes to read

Elizabeth Holmes' last-ditch effort for an appeal rehearing fails, leaving the Supreme Court as her only hope to avoid prison for Theranos fraud. image

Good News Everyone! Holmes' Appeal Rejected Again!

Thu 08 May, 2025 18:25
2 minutes to read

Coinbase makes a bold $2.9 billion move to acquire Deribit, positioning itself as a major player in the global crypto derivatives market and challenging Binance for dominance. It's time to adapt and overcome, crypto-style! image

Coinbase Gobbles Up Deribit: A Survival Masterclass in the Crypto Jungle

Thu 08 May, 2025 15:18
3 minutes to read

A Florida judge dismisses most claims against celebrities and YouTubers promoting FTX, questioning their knowledge of the exchange's fraud. Was it all a 'Davos Deal' gone wrong? image

Celebrity Saviors or Digital Demagogues? FTX Case Throws Shade on Influencer Power

Thu 08 May, 2025 14:12
3 minutes to read

Dr. Jones analyzes Standard Chartered's revised Bitcoin forecast, suggesting a potential surge beyond the initial $120,000 prediction. Could this be the Ark of the Covenant for digital finance? image

Fortune and Crypto! Bitcoin's Price Prediction Gets a 'Too Low' Upgrade!

Thu 08 May, 2025 13:10
2 minutes to read

Whoop launches Whoop 5.0 and Whoop MG with sleeker design, longer battery life, and in-app health insights, offering users a more comprehensive look at their well-being. image

Elementary, My Dear User: WHOOP Unveils New Gadgets for the Health-Obsessed

Thu 08 May, 2025 14:01
3 minutes to read